Warrior's Song (Medieval Song 1)

“I am a man,” he said, nothing more.

She sighed, a deep, profound sigh. “I know,” she said. “I know.”

“Tell me true now. Why did you leave me this morning before I awakened? Why didn’t you kiss me, ease me awake so that we could come together again?”

He didn’t think she would answer him, but then she simply blurted out, “I don’t want you to make me feel all soft and limp. I am not really sure how it felt now, because time has passed. Even so, whatever it was, I did not want to feel it again. It isn’t right. It isn’t the way I should feel. It isn’t the way I should act. It wasn’t me—truly it wasn’t.”

She said slowly, a frown furrowing her brow, “Like I just wanted to lie there and touch you, mayhap smooth my fingertip over your eyebrow, and laugh and keep kissing you until I fell asleep.”

By all the saints’ rosaries, he wanted to kiss her until they were both unconscious. He said, “There is nothing wrong with that. I am sorry that I left you so quickly. You took all my strength, Chandra. You felled me.”

“You did sleep very hard. I just lay there for a very long time. I didn’t understand how you could make me feel that way. I still do not understand. However, I felt like myself again this morning, all those strange feelings gone. I left because I didn’t want to stay there with you.”

He gave her a big smile, his heart thumping. “ Because it was too dangerous?”

“Aye,” she said, looking at him straight on now. “I don’t wish to feel like that again, ever.”

He had her. Quite simply, he knew now that he could bring her to him, make her want him, want those dazzling feelings he gave her. He gave her an even bigger smile and leaned close. “I want to kiss you between those long legs of yours again tonight.”

She nearly swallowed her tongue. He saw it and laughed aloud. “I did kiss you there, Chandra, and you are so very sweet. You nearly rolled yourself off the bed—do you remember that? And you yelled so loudly that my ears drummed.”

“I did not yell that loudly.”

“Aye, you did. I think when I eased my finger inside you, that you lost your breath and nearly made yourself blue, your pleasure was so great.”

She said nothing at all. He was pleased to see her red in the face.

“When I came into you, I hurt you because I had to rend your maidenhead. I am sorry for that, but it is done now and there will be no more hurt for you, no more blood, only pleasure. Can you begin to imagine that, Chandra? All the pleasure I will give to you?”

“What about pleasure for you?”

He nearly spilled his seed right there, sitting atop his damned destrier. “You gave me great pleasure. And it was a husband’s pleasure, not a simple man’s pleasure. You will give me more. I will teach you how.”

She didn’t want to talk about this weakness of hers that changed her utterly in those wild, frenzied moments. But the words were out of her mouth before she could stop herself. “What is the difference between a man’s pleasure and a husband’s?”

“For a man, the pleasure is fleeting, since there is no caring, no feeling or longing for the woman. But for a husband, Chandra—you are my wife and I want you. To have you send me beyond myself—I thank you for that.”

She said, looking between Wicket’s ears, and nowh

ere else, “Jerval, these husband’s feelings you speak of, I do not know about that. Maybe what you felt, maybe what I felt last night, was just as fleeting. Maybe it will never happen again for either of us.”

“It will.”

She shook her head at that, chewed her bottom lip and said, “I don’t like the fact that I am no longer responsible just for myself. I must speak to you now as I would to my father.”

“Oh, no.”

“I can see no difference. Before we wed you didn’t give me orders or critize me. Now, you wish to command me. Before, you did not demand that I obey you, but now, suddenly, you do. You have changed now that you’re my husband.”

Had he suddenly changed? No, surely not, but he was her husband now, and that meant that perforce things were different.

She said, “You know I did not with to wed you.”

“Aye, but you are a reasonable woman. You accepted Mary’s words and you have realized that with me you will have all that you could possibly wish. I am not your father, Chandra. Do not say that again.”

She shrugged. He lifted his hand from her leg. “You have but to bend a bit—toward me, not away from me.”

“That is what Mary said.”