“She laughed at me.”
“I don’t understand,” James said slowly. “What did she laugh at you about?”
“She wanted me to tell her what happened five years ago, and so I did. She made light of it! Dammit, all three of us still live with that awful time.”
James said, “The gall. Here I was growing fond of her. I thought she was nice, filled with kindness.”
“She is, usually.”
“No, she’s obviously cruel,” James said, and shook his head. “Hard, that’s what she is, and unfeeling.”
Douglas nodded. “Indeed. I trust you set her straight, Jason. I am very disappointed in her. I believe I will ride to Lyon’s Gate right now, and give her a piece of my mind.”
“I’ll go
with you, Papa,” James said. “I’d like to shake her, tell her she doesn’t understand what really happened, how it smote you to your toes, Jason, how deeply you feel about it, and your part in it.”
“She had the nerve to say that any part I had in it I should have gotten over by now.”
“What a coldhearted creature,” Douglas said. “I’m very sorry you had to marry her, Jason. I’ve wondered if perhaps she took advantage of you because she knew her father was there, knew perhaps he was even on his way into the stable.”
Jason drank more brandy. “No, she didn’t know her father was there. She simply couldn’t help herself.”
“Well, no matter. Yes, I’ll go over right now and set her straight about things. I won’t have her hurting you when you’re so very hurt already.”
“I told her how I was such a fool, how Judith pulled me in so effortlessly, that she’d won. You know what Hallie said? She said Judith didn’t win, how could she when she was dead?”
James said, sipping his brandy, “I’ve never looked at it in exactly that light. Fact is, Jase, she did fool you—fooled the rest of us for that matter, and surely that makes all of us dupes—but I certainly understand how you would feel more like a fool, more like a failure and a loser, than the rest of us. I want to go with you, Father. Hallie needs to be thrashed.”
“More brandy, Jason?”
Jason frowned as he stuck out his snifter to his father. “She didn’t call me a failure or a loser. I tried to explain it to her, but you know Hallie, she’s able to weave in and out of a conversation. She was talking about Judith’s spirit hanging about, about how her spirit must be so pleased that she was still controlling my life. That isn’t true, dammit!”
“Of course it’s not,” Douglas said. “Imagine, a woman dead for five years still controlling someone’s thoughts and actions. It’s absurd.”
“Well, yes, it is. It’s just that I—Oh hell, Father, you could have died. Do you hear me? You could have died! How can I ever forget my role in that?”
“But I didn’t, Jason, you’re the one who could have died.”
“Well I didn’t either, but that’s neither here nor there. Do you know she asked if you’d ever lied to me?”
“I don’t believe I have,” Douglas said. “Hmm. Well, perhaps I did when you were a lad and you wondered why your mother had yelled in the gazebo—”
James would cut his brain out before he’d think about that. He nodded. “Yes, I would lie to Douglas and Everett as well.”
“The point is, you haven’t ever lied to me about anything important, and so I told her. Then she had the cheek to tell me I believed you had lied to me—my own father.”
“Why is that?”
“She said it was obvious I hadn’t believed you when you told me I wasn’t to take the blame, and thus I did believe you’d lied to me.”
“Hmm,” said Douglas. “Fact is, Jason, she’s right. You didn’t believe me. I hate to say it, but Hallie did nail that one.”
“It’s not that I didn’t believe you, Papa, it’s just that you could have so easily died and so could you, James, and it was all my fault, no one else’s. It hit me between the eyes it was so clear. How could I deny something so obvious? You love me, damn you, and that’s why you—well all right, I didn’t accept your words, I couldn’t because I knew you said them because you loved me.”
Douglas said, “Even though I’d like to clout Hallie, let me be honest here. The fact is, Jason, you just admitted it yourself—you didn’t believe me. Perhaps you simply weren’t able to, but you wounded me, Jason, deeply, I’ll admit it.”
“Still,” James said, “she shouldn’t have said such a cruel thing about a son disbelieving his father, a father he admits never lied to him. I hope you set her straight, Jase.”