“Well, that’s not going to happen here in London. Now, my mother wants you to come back with me for a visit. Er, do you perhaps have something else you can wear?”
CHAPTER NINE
Men and women, women and men. It will never work.
ERICA JONG
I AM THE jewel of Arabie… I am the jewel of Arabie… It was her litany, spoken over and over from the moment she stepped in the carriage with Aunt Maybella to come to the Ranleagh ball just two streets away on Putnam Square, although she wasn’t entirely certain what the jewel of Arabie actually was. She’d thought it ridiculous to take a carriage until she’d tottered down the front stairs in a pair of lovely high-heeled white satin slippers.
She might indeed look fine, but the fact was that if Willie Marker tried to kiss her again, she wouldn’t be able to run after him and smack him in the head. No, she’d either stumble over her feet or collapse in a dead faint because she couldn’t breathe.
On the other hand, she could kick him with a deadly heel.
On the second other hand, Willie Marker was an idiot she didn’t have to worry about here in London.
No, her only worry here was to snag a husband, and if that meant looking fine through exquisite torture, her aunt was fully prepared to bring out an iron maiden. Maybella, looking very pleased, had patted her hand and told her a lady’s lot wasn’t an easy one. And what was one to say to that?
Who wanted a husband anyway? She’d rather have a white poodle on her lap when she drove herself down Bond Street smiling graciously at all the gentlemen swooning at the sight of her.
She saw a lady throw her head back and laugh at something a gentleman said. What could a man possibly say to make a woman laugh with such gusto?
Corrie had been looking around the Ranleagh ballroom, near to bursting with scores of laughing, beautiful people who had to be roasting it was so warm this evening, but it didn’t seem to phase any of them. They waltzed and laughed and flirted and drank champagne while she stood, nailed to the spot, so frightened she knew she was going to erupt in hives.
She was wedged between James’s mother and her Aunt Maybella, and weren’t they having just the finest time, speaking to other ladies who floated by on lovely heeled slippers, some of which were more than two inches off the ground. And all the gentlemen, crooning over Lady Alexandra’s lovely hand, whispering wicked things not an inch from her lovely ear. She heard her Aunt Maybella titter.
Both her aunt and Lady Alexandra appeared to take it all in stride, indeed, blossoming, as if this was the way things were done, and evidently they were.
If she were wise, she would watch and listen and imitate.
She was convinced she’d been introduced to every lady who wasn’t on the dance floor, and said her practiced niceties to such a polished degree that she heard one lady say under her breath to James’s mother that she was a prettily behaved girl. As opposed to what? She’d practiced in front of a mirror until she was fluent in politeness. She smiled and nodded and recited, trying to sound spontaneous, difficult after you’d said the same things twelve times.
By the time she’d danced with six young gentlemen in forty-five minutes, she couldn’t believe she’d been such a twit to be scared. There was only one Willie Marker in the lot, but at least he was nicely dressed and his hands weren’t dirty. All her aunt could talk about was finding her a right and proper husband, not one that was after things other than a wife, and thus because you never knew what lurked beneath a nice set of shoulders, Corrie was to be very vigilant. Since Corrie had no idea what those other things could possibly be, she was suspiciou
s of every gentleman who asked her to dance until she reached the fourth, Jonathan Vallante, whose eyes bugged out just a bit, and made her laugh. Looking out over the ballroom, she realized this was like one of the big country fairs, except there were no pickpockets lurking and none of these people had to count their money. She saw a man with two gold front teeth. There was another lady with three chins and a lovely diamond necklace that looked in danger of choking her. Corrie realized that if you stripped off all the jewels, loosened all the stays, these beautiful people were much like the ones at home.
She hadn’t danced in seven minutes, and she wanted to dance again, she loved to dance, she’d discovered, and so where were all these young gentlemen? She tapped the heel of one slipper. She was restless. She’d only attracted six of them. Surely there were more than a measly half dozen. She wanted a long line of gentlemen, queuing right in front of her, peering around each other to get a better view of her.
Then her ears perked up.
The duchess of Brabante was saying to James’s mama, “There are the twins, just coming into the ballroom. Ah, what exquisite and delightful boys, Alexandra. You’ve done so very well. What a thrill it must be for you now that they are all so splendidly grown up, watching all the young ladies and their mamas dogging them, hanging on to their every word. Why, I saw one young lady swoon at James’s feet. I was hoping he’d let her fall, but no, James is a gentleman, and before her elbow hit the floor, he caught her. He gave her a scare though, and I thought that was smart of him.
“I have the same problem, naturally, with my dear Devlin, such an exemplary young man. Being the heir to a duke-not just an earl-naturally all the very best families are after him for their daughters. And how is your dear sister, Melissande? Everyone finds it so terribly interesting that the twins are in her image. Tell me, what does Lord Northcliffe think?”
Alexandra simply smiled and cocked her head to one side. “Why, I believe he thinks of me most of all, then the boys, perhaps then the estates.”
The duchess blew out an annoyed breath, but to persist would have made her look a fool.
That was well done, Corrie thought. Had this odd woman reached the end of her very singular monologue?
No, she had not. The duchess said, “However do you tell them apart? I swear they are like two stitches on a pillowcase.”
“Trust me, Lorelei, if one births twins, one can easily tell them apart.”
“Oh look, three girls are already twittering around them. Oh goodness, I do believe that girl is trying to pass Jason a note. Poor boys! Look there-I see a convoy of white gowns steering toward them.”
Where were they? Corrie craned her neck, but even in her two-inch heels, she couldn’t see them, and she was tall. Were they already dancing? Was James already dancing?
The duchess cleared her throat. “My son would be delighted to dance with Maybella’s lovely little niece. Since Maybella is gossiping with Sir Arthur, Alexandra, I will inquire of you since you appear to be a friend of the family.”