The rippling feeling of Luna’s orgasm just about blows my fucking mind, and I’m letting go inside her in a flash, our sweaty bodies flopping together like rag dolls.
It’s only after, when we’ve both caught our breaths, that I wrap my arms around her tightly, holding my bossy girl, so she feels safe and cared for. Her fingers trail over my jawline, down my neck, over my collar bone, and lower, leaving a trail of gooseflesh in their wake. When they rest over my heart, I know what’s coming.
“Who’s Hartley?” she asks softly.
“My twin,” I say, swallowing the lump that always forms in my throat whenever I’m forced to remember that my brother, the other half of me, is dead.
“I had a brother, Jake, who died,” Luna says. “He was killed in a motorbike accident.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that, sweetie,” I say, holding her a little closer.
“What happened to Hartley?”
“He was killed in service,” I say flatly. “We were close to discharge. It shouldn’t have happened.”
“I think death always feels that way,” she says, resting her head on my shoulder so her forehead is tucked into my neck. “I always think of things that I want to tell Jake. He loved dessert, especially ice cream sundaes. He loved country music and baseball. All the things he loved bring him back to me.”
“It’s hard that way,” I say.
“I think it gets easier with time.” Luna exhales softly as though admitting that fact makes her feel bad. “And I’m happy about that because I want to be able to remember my brother without feeling as though a javelin has pierced my heart. I want to be able to laugh about the things we got up to because he was always full of humor. I want to be able to accept it and live with it, not feel like hurting my other brother out of blame or resentment.”
I know exactly how she feels. “Life is for the living,” I tell her. “There’s no point in blaming anyone for something that was just fate’s responsibility. Family is important. You have to focus on the family and friends you have left.”
“Is that what you’re doing?” she asks.
Nodding, I run my hand over her smooth thigh, pulling her closer. “Every day that I get since his death feels like borrowed time. Like a clock started ticking the minute he was gone, measuring every single second that I get more than him. I want to live my life to the full because I have the chance to be here, and he doesn’t. It’s why I won’t ever walk away from my friends. They pulled me through, and in the process, they became my brothers.”
“They’re all good men,” Luna says softly. “You all are.”
Smiling, I press a soft kiss to her forehead. “And you, Luna, are a very special girl.”
She doesn’t say anything after that. We cuddle for a few more minutes, then Connor knocks on the door to warn us that time is running out. She slips off to shower, and I clean myself up, getting ready to switch roles again.
For a while, I was Luna’s lover.
Now, I’m back to being her bodyguard again.
The Luna who performs in Barcelona seems different. She has a lightness to her that wasn’t there before. Her eyes are bright and alive, and maybe the audience can tell because this show feels so much more engaging than her others. The song she sang in Athens isn’t repeated, and instead, she ends by repeating her biggest hit and encouraging the audience to join in with the chorus.
The only time my eyes drift from her, they settle on my crew. We’ve always been close. Maybe finding yourself in a life-or-death situation with people helps to fuse relationships in a way that’s special. I’m not really sure. What I do know is that there is an added element to our relationship now. A shared connection with another person. A connection that links us all physically and emotionally.
I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future. I can’t tell what Luna is looking for outside of human connection and maybe some control. She knows that being with us all means she has tied us to her in a stronger way than she was as just our client, but that doesn’t mean that she will want this to continue when the tour is over.
“Keep your eyes on the client,” Connor growls into my earpiece. “Keep your mind on the job.” He’s not necessarily just talking to me, but I feel it probably more than the others. She chose me today. That means something. Maybe Asher feels it, too, because he was her first. Maybe we’ll never stop thinking about our connection in parts and pieces and as a whole. I think we need to think about it as a whole for it to work the way her brother’s relationship is set up. There can’t be any singular thinking.