“It’s great exposure,” she says, but there is definitely doubt in her voice. “I have to brave it at some point. I can’t hide at my own shows forever. The tour needs to build publicity. That’s the whole point of it.”
“It must be tough, always thinking about pushing yourself further into the public eye.”
“You wouldn’t like to be a famous artist?”
“I’d like for people to love my work, but if that could happen without anybody ever needing to see my face, I’d take the anonymity over fame any day.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“I never believed that anything like this would ever happen to me. It started off like a fairy tale, but it’s starting to feel like a nightmare.”
“Don’t say that,” I say. “It’s just a temporary blip and when it’s passed, you’ll feel like you’re in the fairy tale again. How could you not? You’re a superstar, Luna.”
She sighs softly and I hear the rustle of her bed covers as she shifts position. “I’m just a girl, Asher. Whatever happens in my life, however famous I get, I’ll still be just a girl.”
“You’re so much more than just a girl,” I say. “You sparkle like the brightest diamond. Don’t ever forget how special you are.”
The cool tiles of the bathroom floor are starting to make my feet cold and outside, a car horn sounds despite the late hour. If I could click my fingers and find myself in Luna’s bed, tucked up warm and tight away from the world, I wouldn’t hesitate. Even though seeing her again would make our eventual separation harder, I’d put myself through it if I could be a comfort to her.
“If I forget, all I have to do is look at your drawings of me,” she says. “You drew me in black and white, but somehow those drawings seem to convey me in vivid technicolor.”
“That’s all you, sweetheart. I just captured what I could see.”
I think she smiles then, at least, I imagine her pretty face resting against the pillow and a soft curve to her pink lips. I imagine her delicate collar bones and strong toned arms revealed by the sheet, and a swathe of shiny chestnut hair spread out behind her.
“Do you think we’ll ever see each other again?” she asks.
“You know we would in a heartbeat if it wasn’t going to mess with your career,” I say.
“My career.” She says it as though her teeth are gritted. Two simple words laced with a bitterness I can almost taste.
“Just know that the time we spent together was everything we could ever have wanted,” I say, swallowing around the ache in my throat. “Just know for that short amount of time, you were all we wanted.”
“Goodbye, Asher,” she whispers, and then the phone line goes dead.
I stare at the phone in my hand, hoping that she was cut off accidently, praying that she’ll call back, but she doesn’t.
For a long time, I stare at myself in the mirror, replaying our conversation in my mind. Did I say what she needed to hear? Did she understand that we love her and would do anything to be what she needs in her life? Did she appreciate that we’re sacrificing the best thing that’s ever happened to us so that she can keep the fairy tale?
As I splash some water onto my face, I can’t shake the feeling that the fairy tale Luna has isn’t the fairy tale she really wants.
Maybe I’m just overlaying my own hopes. Maybe I’m reading something into nothing.
All I know is that she’ll have to be the one to tell us that a life with us is her true happy ever after. We could never make that decision for her.
30
LUNA
Calling Asher was a mistake, not because he said anything wrong. He didn’t. Not really.
It was a mistake because it just brought back everything that I lost.
I can’t sleep without my men around me. I can’t sleep knowing that they aren’t close by. I pace around my room, feeling hollow-stomached and weary. I have an urge to eat a huge rack of ribs with a side of sweet potato fries, but I also feel as though I might throw up at any second.
Anxiousness is wreaking havoc with my digestion and my state of mind.
Maybe I’m being an idiot for not trusting Mr. Wright and his team. They haven’t done anything wrong as such. Well, apart from the slightly leering looks they give me and the fact that they don’t really care if I’m happy or not.
The Steel 7 men were a different breed of bodyguard. They were more than just contractors looking out for my safety. They were like friends before they became more.
And now I have no one.
Jordy and Tyler, the only people in the world who really love me, are so far away that they feel lost in a mirage of the past.