“I should probably head out,” Zander said, not much later. I wasn’t surprised he was in a hurry to leave. I bit my lip to keep from asking him to stay, or to talk, trying to respect both him and my son, but it was damned hard.
“Thanks for having dinner with us,” Ross told him.
“Thanks for having me.” He looked my way. “And for buying. I’ll get it next time.”
“Sounds good to me,” I replied, knowing it was important to him.
“I’ll be right back, Dad.” Ross followed Zander outside.
I paced the apartment the whole time they were gone, nerves and curiosity pricking at my spine. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d fretted like this. Apparently, this was what I got for sleeping with someone seventeen years my junior.
My eyes snapped to the door when Ross came back in. “Is he okay?” I asked.
Ross sighed and plopped down on the couch. “He feels guilty, and he’s rightfully weirded out. You just…you don’t know Zander like I do. He’s so determined to make something of himself. He has this idea of what success needs to be, and last night he let go of that…which is really still freaking me out. It’s like he thinks he has to cross some imaginary line now where he can’t go out and meet guys, or have fun or party or anything, and I get it. It’s time to grow up, but…I don’t know. It’s like he feels he’s a failure if he has a life outside of being an adult with a career and… I probably shouldn’t be telling you this.” Ross looked at me and cocked a brow.
“No, you probably shouldn’t.” I sat down beside him. “I’m sorry for Zander. He’s still young. He’ll figure it out. But what about you? Are you really okay with what happened?”
“Something happened?” he teased.
“It’s important we talk about this.”
Ross nodded. “It was just sex. Is it a little weird? Obviously. You’re my dad, and he’s my friend. But I’m not upset. Honestly, if you weren’t my dad and old, I think you’d be good for each other.”
“Hey.” I nudged him. “I’m not old.”
“Yeah, sure, whatever you say,” he added playfully, making me snicker. “I wasn’t joking when I said I’d rather not think about it, though. If it happens again—”
“It won’t,” I interrupted.
“Dad…you always taught me not to make promises I can’t keep.”
He had me there. “Wow, so you really do listen?”
“I hear everything you say. I just choose what I want to acknowledge hearing and what I want to follow.”
“You’re such a troublemaker,” I said, but I loved him. I was so lucky to have him.
“Anyway, if it does happen again, we pretend it doesn’t. I’m going to play dumb, and you’re going to let me. That’s what I told Zander too.”
“What did he say?” fell out of my mouth before I could stop it. Ross cocked a brow.
“You know we’re in trouble when I feel more adult in a situation.”
“Impossible,” I joked.
Ross sobered, making a sinking feeling attack my gut. “Just don’t hurt him. I mean, I know you wouldn’t on purpose. And Zander is so against relationships and letting himself count on someone that I don’t think it would happen anyway, but…I don’t know. You always say there are more layers to people than most will ever show us, and I feel that way with Zander. Like maybe he could get hurt more than he lets on.”
I nodded, feeling a sort of satisfaction I only got out of parenthood. “I won’t. And because I don’t think you can ever tell someone enough, I’m proud of you, Ross. You’re a good man, with a big heart. You care about others, and I couldn’t ask for a better son.”
“I had a pretty solid role model.” He winked. “And just so you know, if it comes down to it, I’ll tell Zander not to hurt you either. Just, no sex in the apartment if I’m home. Hey, this is kind of fun. I get to make the rules now. My, the tables have turned.”
I chuckled and shook my head. “It’s not going to happen again.” Every time I said those words, regret shot through me, something I had no right feeling about my son’s best friend.
CHAPTER FIVE
Zander
“This is… There’s no way the rent I’m paying is enough for this,” I told Ross, my first time at the apartment. I’d stayed an extra two days with Mom and Molly, nervous to get to Atlanta and risk seeing Harrison. That would be my life now—risking seeing Harrison, that he would come and visit Ross, or Ross would invite me to his dad’s. I’d say no because that was just what I did, but I couldn’t say no to Harrison going to Ross’s…which was actually Harrison’s since he owned it.
How in the hell had I gotten myself in this situation? It was one of the reasons I’d wanted to stay in Placerville with Mom and Molly even longer.