Zander flinched, but it was gone so quickly, I wasn’t sure I’d even seen it. Had I already screwed up? Misread things between us?
“He’s lucky to have you…to have a dad who cares so much.”
A pang of sadness hit my chest for him. His reaction wasn’t about me. It was about his own father. “I’m sorry.”
“Why? You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“That doesn’t mean I can’t feel sorrow for someone who’s important to me. I know you well enough to know you’d feel bad for me if the situation were reversed.”
Zander rested an elbow on his knee, knotted a hand in his hair. “I’m fine. I don’t even know why I said that to you. I don’t talk about him because I don’t give a shit about him. You can finish what you were saying.”
I nodded, every instinct telling me to push him on it, but I didn’t. I would only chase him away, would only upset him. Zander was the type who needed to come around on his own. “I guess my point is that I’m forty-one and I’ve never shared my life with someone romantically. I’m not sure I would even know how. I haven’t dated seriously since Ross’s mom, and I was a teenager then. And now that Ross is an adult, I’m too set in my ways to change. To be honest, I just want to enjoy myself, do what I want when I want. Go where I want when I want. Fuck who I want when I want.”
Zander grinned. “Your single relationship status is safe with me. I already told you I don’t ever want a relationship. And if I did, which again, I don’t, it wouldn’t be now. I’m just starting my career, one I worked really fucking hard for. I have student debt out the ass, a car on its last legs, and a shit ton of other responsibilities. The last thing I need to worry about is a boyfriend. The sex is fucking great, though. I was a ball of energy earlier, and now, if I didn’t have to go to work, I could probably take a nap.” He chuckled.
“You work tonight?”
“Didn’t you just tell me you didn’t want to be responsible for anyone else?”
He had a point… “I don’t. I’m not responsible for you. I just don’t want you to run yourself down.” He opened his mouth, but I put two fingers against it. “But it’s not my business, and I acknowledge that, so there’s no need to lecture me.”
“Thank you.”
I shrugged. “Looks like sex isn’t the only thing I’m great at.”
Zander rubbed a hand over his face. “Why you? Out of all the men in the world, the one who would be absolutely perfect for me to hook up with is the full-of-himself father of my roommate and friend.”
I looked at him, cocked my head slightly.
“What?”
“You know, you’re actually right.”
“Well, yes, it’s very clear, considering you can’t stop reminding me that I said you’re a good fuck.”
“No, not that. About us. We’re friends, which means we’re comfortable being honest with each other and have a good time together. We know the score—exactly what the other wants—so there’s no chance of our wires getting crossed. There are no expectations since we’re both busy people.”
“That’s true. Regular sex is good for a person. And like today, it’s a great way to unwind. It would make things a whole lot easier for me to not have to worry about apps when I want to get off with someone. Plus, I have this fear of hooking up with a student’s dad without knowing…”
“You have an active imagination. You only sleep with your best friend’s dad.”
“Not talking me into it by reminding me of that.”
“I wouldn’t want that,” I told him.
“Seriously, though, I’m so afraid of doing something that fucks up my job like…Mr. Wescott has a Grindr profile. The gays must not have sex, ya know?”
It was sad that his concern was legitimate. “So basically, if it wasn’t for me, you would likely not let yourself have sex at all?”
“Slow your roll. Not forever. It’s just too much right now. But you’re easy…”
“Not the first time I’ve heard that.” I winked. “But yes, this would be convenient.”
“Convenient is a good thing. So what, we just keep doing what we’re doing? Hanging out sometimes, jogging sometimes, and we bone, no strings attached, when we feel like it?”
“I’m not sure I’d put it that way, but yes. I don’t know what I’m getting myself into. I have a feeling you’re going to be needy.”
Luckily, he knew it was a joke. “Oh, fuck you. You’re the one who can’t get enough of me.”
He wasn’t wrong. “I’m not nearly done with you yet.” With that, I straddled him, pushed him down so he lay on his back, following him so I could kiss his neck. “You also haven’t fucked me yet.”