“This is supposed to be your breakfast.”
“Then shut up so I don’t have to shut you up.”
I rolled my eyes, but it was difficult to hold back my smile.
We shared the food and the coffee. We showered together afterward, me dropping to my knees as the water rained down on him, sucking Harrison until he came down my throat.
About an hour later the mechanic called, and my car was, in fact, fucked with a capital F. Harrison wrapped his arms around me from behind. I fought myself from leaning back against him, from letting him hold me up. “Okay, thank you.”
“Are you coming by to pick it up?” the man asked. Fuck, I hadn’t even thought of that.
I turned my head to look at Harrison, who answered my silent question. “I don’t need it for anything.”
“Um…do you keep them for parts or anything like that?”
He answered that he’d keep it and could actually give me a little bit of money for it. Once that was settled, we disconnected the call. Harrison’s mouth pressed to my neck. “I know it’s easier said than done, but try not to worry. We’ll figure it out.”
“I’m fine.” But I wasn’t. I fucking hated this, hated being needy, not being able to take care of myself. It made me feel weak. Even though my goal was to pay off my credit cards, I’d just use them to pay bills or to pay Harrison if I had to, because I wasn’t taking his vehicle for free.
“Do you work today?” Harrison asked.
“Yeah, at three.”
“We should go get the car sorted out, then.”
I nodded, then went into his room to change from the shorts I’d put on after the shower to my clothes from the day before, Harrison having tossed them into the dryer that morning.
We were in his car, driving to the dealership, when I made my best attempt to pull my head out of my ass. I was lucky. Not everyone had a friend like Harrison. “I didn’t tell you what happened at school yesterday, did I?”
“Nope.”
I told him about the students’ questions—if I was married or gay—and then what Cameron had said when he came into my room, the stories about me and such.
“He’s right,” Harrison said. “You should be able to acknowledge a significant other when you have one. You’re gorgeous and could one hundred percent be a model. Also, he wants to bone you.”
“You made fun of me for saying it like that, and oh my God. No, he doesn’t. He’s just being nice. We’re both queer teachers, so he’s trying to be welcoming.”
He turned and glanced at me. “You really believe that, don’t you? Jesus, Zander. How are you blind to how irresistible you are?”
“Hey, I’m not blind to that! I can acknowledge I’m easy on the eyes.” I wasn’t sure I agreed about the model thing, but I didn’t want to argue with him. “That doesn’t mean he wants to sleep with me.”
“No, it doesn’t, but…you’re more than a pretty face. You don’t see that, but I do, and so does Cameron. I bet he’s asked you out.”
“As friends!”
He laughed. Hard.
“Fuck off,” I replied, my ears hot. Was he right? Was Cameron interested in me? Why hadn’t I considered that before?
We were quiet for a moment before Harrison asked, “Are you interested in him?”
“What? No. We’re just friends.”
“You and I are friends too.”
His words nearly sucked the air out of me, but I didn’t know why. Because we were sleeping together? Harrison and I might not be serious, but we felt like more than what Cameron and I were. Harrison was…different, not like Cameron at all.
“I understand if you are,” he continued. “The two of you clearly have things in common, you’re close in age, he’s—”
“I don’t care about age.”
“You don’t now, but you might one day.”
It was frustrating me that he was even bringing this up. I was there, with him. I’d spent the night with him. I trusted Harrison. “Why are we fighting about this?” My parents used to fight all the time. I hated it.
“We’re not fighting. We’re discussing. And I know that what you and I have isn’t serious. That isn’t what we agreed on. We’d said this would be no strings, but…I’d like to ask you to tell me if something does happen with you and Cameron, or you and someone else. I would like to know beforehand.”
“Okay,” I replied softly, still trying to figure out how my funny story got us there. “You too, then. If you want to hook up with someone else, tell me first. We can still be no strings, but plus honesty and a little heads-up.”
“Exactly,” Harrison replied.
“Exactly,” I added.
We didn’t talk the rest of the way to the dealership. I couldn’t stop wringing my hands when we arrived. I couldn’t believe I was doing this, but then, I didn’t have much choice, did I? Not if I wanted to be able to get back and forth to work.