Strings Attached

“Oh, is it? I wasn’t aware. Because October six hasn’t been my favorite day for…well, almost twenty-three years now.”

“Sometimes you’re so extra.”

I shrugged. Maybe I was when it came to him, but I couldn’t help it.

He took his second shot and ended up with a spare, before sitting down beside me. “We always go out to dinner. I’d like Trina and Zander to go with us this year. Warren and George will be gone, but they’re taking me out before they leave.”

I studied him, a little surprised by his request. He’d made it clear that while he didn’t care that Zander and I were doing our thing, he didn’t want to know about it. Both he and Zander still made it a point for the three of us not to be together at the same time. I thought that was likely one of the reasons Zander always came to my house now—it was easier not to have to worry about an awkward run-in with Ross.

It had been a couple of weeks since the night he’d come home from visiting his mom and gifted me the camera. He spent more nights with me than he did at his own condo. Even the nights he worked at the coffeehouse, he would show up at my place at nine or ten, and I’d wait for him. Sometimes we stayed up and talked, others we went straight to bed. It wasn’t something we ever talked about—how much time we spent together, how often he slept in my bed, that this felt a whole lot like a real relationship and not convenient, no-strings-attached sex. It was more for me, but I knew Zander well enough to see how much that would scare him. That he wasn’t ready to hear my truth, and hell, maybe he didn’t feel the same. If he did, he wouldn’t want to. I worried that it would make him run, and the thought of losing him… Well, I would rather have part of him than none of him at all.

I was pretty sure that for the first time in my life, I was falling in love.

Maybe I’d already fallen.

“Hello? Dad, are you in there?” Ross waved a hand in front of my face.

“Hmm?”

“You zoned out.”

“Sorry, I was thinking.”

“About…?”

“Nothing. It’s not important. I would like that—for Trina and Zander to be there. But if he doesn’t feel comfortable…”

Ross rolled his eyes. “I know him. You don’t have to explain my best friend to me, Dad. I understand how Zander works.”

He was right, and I had no business saying anything at all, so I moved to more comfortable conversation. “You like her a lot, don’t you? Trina.” The more time Zander spent with me, the more Trina seemed to be at the condo. Ross had never had that before, at least not that I was aware of. Maybe he’d dated the same woman for a while in college, but if so, he’d never spoken to me about her and he’d never invited her home with him.

“I do. She’s…she’s great. She’s so funny. She can totally make fun of herself, which I love because I’m always doing the same thing about myself. We like a lot of the same things, and she’s just…so spontaneous. She’s up for anything. She volunteers at the animal shelter too. I can’t remember if I told you that’s how we met.”

“You did, but you can tell me again.” Because I liked that he wanted me to know about his life, that we were so close. I wished I could share with him how I felt about Zander.

“I know it’s early, but I think I could…” He shrugged. “I think one day I could love her. I want her to know you better…and Zander, Warren, and George. All the people who are important to me. Oh, and she has two moms. They adopted her when she was three.”

“She sounds great.”

“I just…I want to make her happy. Have you ever felt like that about someone? That you would do anything to make them smile? Like when they’re hurting, you hurt too? I don’t mean like me or Warren, but…”

Yes, yes I did. I currently felt that way about his best friend.

When I didn’t respond right away, he said, “Gross. This is still so weird,” clearly seeing that I did, in fact, feel that way and whom I felt it about. “Does he know?”

I shook my head.

“Probably a smart move…at least for now,” Ross replied, making me both breathe out a sigh of relief that he was okay with it, and an ache fill my chest because he didn’t tell me I was wrong about not telling Zander. That he thought I shouldn’t. “Now, are you going to take your turn or not? Stop stalling, so I can hurry up and beat you.”