They feel really right.
“Yeah. I think I do.”
“Holy fuck-balls. You’re in love with a Christmas freak,” Loretta says, still in disbelief.
I don’t bother to respond to that. Joy isn’t a freak. She loved Christmas, but with her I was beginning to appreciate the season to.
I walk over to my window overlooking the lawn that Joy had painstakingly decorated. The lights twinkle against the fresh falling snow and it makes my heart hurt. It’s beautiful. It’s the kind of scene Joy would love.
It’s the kind of scene she belongs in. She was made to sparkle in these lights with the snow coming down. As pretty as it is, it pales to how truly good and beautiful she is.
“She’s an angel… a Christmas angel and I broke her,” I whisper to my window, forgetting Loretta is anywhere around.
“Shit E.B. find your fucking balls. You want her, quit whining like some drunk poet singing prose and go get her,” Loretta responds.
“I don’t know where she is!” I growl, the hopelessness of the situation almost overwhelming.
“You said yourself you didn’t spend all your time fucking her. Surely she gave you a hint or a clue to where she would be this time of year, or where she would stay.”
“Nothing. She was planning on being home—with me!”
“Wha, wha, wha. Think with your head and not the one on your dick. Surely, you have an idea of where this chick would go to nurse a wound. What did she like? Maybe she tried to go find something that makes her happy.”
“I don’t know. I’m not a woman!” I grumble, scratching the stubble on my face. I haven’t shaved since Joy left me. I’ve barely eaten. Mostly I’ve buried myself in a whiskey bottle.
“Well don’t look at me, I’d go find another man with a bigger dick who made me forget you.”
I let out an animalistic noise at the thought to Joy with any other man. Loretta holds up her hand and actually has the gall to laugh.
“Don’t worry. I told you I’m not a normal woman. Start thinking of things she liked. Where would she go? Hell, it’s Christmas, she runs a bakery and caters. Maybe she has a party tonight.”
“No…” I whisper, but I turn around to look at the lights. But it’s Christmas Eve… right?”
“Yeah? You may have gone off the deep end, but I have to tell you there’s no pervert going to crawl down your chimney with Joy wrapped in a bow.”
“Shut up, Loretta. I know where Joy is going to be,” I say and for the first time in a week I feel hopeful. I look over at the grandfather clock in my office. “I know where she’s going to be in an hour.”
I practically run from the room. I need a shower and I have to clean up. By God, Joy will listen to me tonight and if she doesn’t I’ll tie her up and drag her back here until she does listen.
“Where are you going?”
“I have to get ready!”
“Ready for what?”
“To bring my woman home!” I tell Loretta over my shoulder, and I’m smiling.
Tonight Joy will be back in my bed… where she belongs.
Chapter 23
Joy
“I don’t know why you drug me here,” I mumble as I sit in the cold metal chair at City Hall.
“Because it’s Christmas and it’s the light ceremony and trophy presentation. You’re always here and just because Eb turned into a major asshole, you aren’t going to let him steal this away from you,” Tina answers, and I might understand what she’s saying, but I think it’s much too late.
I just want Christmas to be over. The lights and the snow mock me. The music hurts me. Right now I hate everything about Christmas. I hate it almost as much as I hate Eb Mason.
I should be thankful that at least he’s not here. For some reason, I thought he might be. But, he’s not and that’s just proof I never meant anything to him. As if I needed proof. His words are haunting me as it is.
I was such a fool.
“I’d like to thank everyone for coming out tonight. It looks like we’re getting a white Christmas! As hard as it’s coming down, we will try not to keep you a long time. It’d be a shamed to get us all stranded at City Hall on Christmas.”
I half-listen as the mayor drones on. I know Tina thought she was doing me a favor, dragging me here. But, she was wrong. I should have gone back to Tina’s house and stayed there until this damn holiday was over.
I sit there for a few more minutes, but everything is a blur. I’m feeling sick to my stomach and it’s so hot in here I can barely breathe. I just want out of here so I can catch my breath.