“And you have that with Deke.” I can’t help but smile.
“Yeah,” Sadie says softly.
“I love that for you.”
“Thanks. It’s pretty great. We’re gonna get married because it’s a human convention, but in the pack’s eyes, we’re more than husband and wife.” We drive a few more miles while I digest this. A little line appears on Sadie’s forehead. “Rafe never told you any of this.”
“Nope. I thought we got pretty close in Utah but not close enough, I guess.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Actually…I understand it. His parents were killed, and he had to look after Lance when he was just fifteen. All his control issues are around trying to keep the people he loves safe. So I guess he doesn’t think he can add one more to that list. Especially because I’m human and fragile.” I make air quotes with my fingers around the word “fragile.”
“Yeah, Deke told me Rafe never wanted any of them to get mates. Not just because we’re human. Even if we were wolf shifters, he was against it. He thinks we weaken the pack.”
Despite myself, I flinch. “Ouch.”
“You see, shifters have these amazing healing properties. Charlie said Lance had all these bullet holes in him after one of their missions, and then he just healed up in a day or two.”
My eyes inexplicably fill with tears. Every piece of information I learn about Rafe’s kind makes the gulf between us even bigger. Makes me miss him even more. Wish that things could be different. I want what Sadie and Deke have. And Charlie and Lance.
“So to them, humans seem super vulnerable,” Sadie goes on. “So I get it. We’re the weak link, especially because we’re human. But Deke doesn’t see me as a weakness. Mates make a pack stronger. But I guess, in Rafe’s eyes, it’s more people to protect.”
Her words hit me like a bowling ball to the chest. “I wish he wasn’t such a control freak.”
“Yep. It’s an alpha thing. You have it too,” Sadie says in her gentle way. Only Sadie can deliver a verbal punch to the gut so sweetly. “That’s why you try to take care of all of us.”
“I’m not like Rafe,” I grumble. “He’s hot and cold. It’s crazy!” Of course, I ran hot and cold too. I couldn’t deal with my attraction to him, and I blamed it on the fact we were boss and employee. And then I got naked in an outdoor pool and seduced him. I groan, covering my face with my hand. “This is a mess.”
“It is,” Sadie says. “And Rafe has been infuriating. He’s tearing himself apart, trying to figure out what to do. The wolf side of him probably wants to claim you ASAP, but he’s trying to do what’s best for you and his pack.”
“No, he made up his mind. Did Deke tell you about what happened with this guy Gabriel Dieter?”
Sadie bites her lip for a mile and a half, glancing in the rearview mirror again. “Deke hasn’t told me much about him, so I think he’s connected to a top secret mission. All I know is Dieter’s dangerous. And I guess he was messing with you because he knew it would mess with Rafe.”
“He didn’t hurt me. It was all very weird.” I shiver. “I don’t know why I spent as much time with him as I did. It’s like my normal instincts were suppressed. I even saw one of Dieter’s employees–the guy was in a serious amount of military gear. Red flags all over the place, but I just didn’t pick up on them.”
“Don’t beat yourself up. Dieter is rich and has tons of connections. He’s probably used to getting what he wants. If he wanted to meet and spend time with you, he’d engineer the perfect moment.” She glances in the rearview mirror.
I crane my neck. There’s a familiar black Mercedes G63 following us. “That’s Deke, isn’t it?” I say in a resigned tone.
“Yeah. He’s worried about us. Because Dieter. Plus he’s super protective–”
“Because of the mate thing.” Once more, I have to fight back tears.
Sadie turns onto the road that leads to my neighborhood and adds, “The full moon can affect things too.”
“Oh my God, it’s a full moon,” I say. “Maybe that’s why they invented the word ‘lunatic.’ It was really a bunch of wolf shifters.” A hysterical laugh bubbles up in my gut and spills over. “It’s like a bunch of women cycling together, except it's a bunch of wolf shifters on the same cycle.” I bend in half, breathless with laughter. Sadie watches, looking sympathetic.
I laugh harder. I’m still howling when Sadie pulls into my driveway, and Charlie comes out of my house and down the path to greet us. She opens my door, takes one look at me rocking in the seat, whimpered giggles escaping me while tears track down my cheeks, and raises a brow.