Cleve jumped onto the table and yelled at the top of his lungs, “Stop it, all of you! Can’t you see the women are just having sport with you? Are you so lackbrained that you don’t understand what Laren’s done to you? And Entti? And all the others, including Utta, who makes the best mead in all the world? It’s all a jest, nothing more. They are laughing at us. I will tell you the truth. Listen to me—I fell asleep. Aye, that’s the absolute truth. I fell asleep with Chessa wide awake beside me. I failed
her. I gave her no pleasure. I rutted her like a stoat and gave her nothing but pain and she was a virgin. Don’t break Haakon’s arm, Gunleik. I’m a failure as a man. I’m nothing but offal on the refuse pile. Believe me, for it’s the truth.” He gave his wife a malignant look, shook his fist at her, and strode from the longhouse. Actually, he stomped from the longhouse, Chessa thought, watching him. She looked up to see Laren wink at her. Why, she thought, Laren was as wicked as she was. It was heartening.
There was utter silence where only the moment before it had been pandemonium.
19
GUNLEIK RELEASED HAAKON’S arm. Hafter stood silently, staring after Cleve. Merrik looked at his wife without a glimmer of affection. Hafter said to Entti, “If you weren’t holding my sleeping son, I would strangle you. You’re dangerous, mayhap more dangerous than those damned Danes and Saxons.”
Rorik cleared his throat. “Chessa, did you lie? Did Cleve truly fall asleep and you were still awake, left wanting? Cold and alone? No love words, nothing at all save his obnoxious snoring?”
She sagged against Rorik’s chair. She covered her face with her hands and sobbed, low racking sobs that brought Kerzog to sit at her feet, his paws scratching against her leg. No one said a word. Mirana would have gone to her, but Rorik held her back. He waited until those pained sobs finally stopped and Kerzog had been patted by Hafter. He said more gently, “Chessa, it’s all right, no one blames you or Cleve, at least not now. Just tell us the truth. Nothing more, just the plain simple truth.”
But she wouldn’t look up at any of them. Her voice was thin and liquid from her crying. “I’m so sorry, Rorik. I didn’t know anything was wrong until this morning when Cleve didn’t kiss me upon awakening. He was ashamed. I didn’t understand why he was ashamed, but he was. He believed he’d failed me. That’s why he acted so strangely. I couldn’t bear that, so I lied since he was ashamed and I wanted to spare him that.”
Rorik said carefully, mindful of each of those dozens of giant boulders in his path, “That’s the truth, Chessa?”
She looked up then, her face flushed with embarrassment, her lower lip quivering. “But he didn’t fail me, Rorik, it’s just that he believed he did. All right, so he only took me three times. I lied about the five times. But he believed he’d failed since he came to me only three times and then he fell asleep and didn’t awaken to love me again, which was what he wanted to do. I’m sorry I lied.”
“Is this the absolute truth, Chessa?” Merrik asked.
She was silent for the longest time. Everyone was silent as well, staring at her, waiting. Anticipation made the air thick. No sound, even from the pets, except Kerzog. He whined, pawing at her foot.
She said in a choking voice, “All right, it isn’t the absolute truth, Merrik. It’s just that—” She stopped, swallowed and continued, “Ah, this is so difficult. It’s embarrassing for me. The fact is that Cleve is very big. When he first bared himself to me I knew it wouldn’t work. I knew he would kill me, his member is so massive. I was afraid. I cried I was so afraid, but he was gentle, despite this huge part of him, and I let him advance. He was kind to me, but his size—” She shuddered, then continued quietly, “I thought I would die, but I didn’t, of course. He took care of me after he’d finished the act. He soothed me and kissed me and told me he would allow me time to heal, but the bleeding was awful. This is why he feels guilty. He hurt me and he despises himself for it. Aye, he fell asleep finally, after seeing to me and assuring himself that I was no longer hurting so badly. He told all of you that he’d fallen asleep. He did this because he didn’t want to embarrass me. I failed him, not the other way around. I failed him because I couldn’t accommodate him. Because I wasn’t as other women. Something’s wrong with me, for I was too small for him. I’ve failed as a wife. He isn’t to blame. I’m the only one to blame here. I only sought to protect him because he is so good and so noble.”
Laren cleared her throat. “Now, my Lord Merrik, do you believe you know all the facts? Are you now satisfied with what Chessa has told you? Very well, what do you think the men should do?”
“Chessa,” Merrik said slowly, aware that everyone of the men were sitting forward, waiting for his words, “just how big is Cleve?”
“What do you mean, my lord?”
“I mean is it length or breadth or what exactly? Or is it that you are simply very small? Are you deformed?”
“I don’t know.” She looked about until she saw a very thick bolt of wood what was a joint in the chain of the pot hanging over the fire pit. She pointed to it. “I suppose the breadth is like that.” She then said very quietly, “And the length? Perhaps it is like that chair post. I couldn’t caress him even with both my hands. To stroke the full length of him took a long time. I failed him.”
“What is the truth, Chessa?” Rorik said. “Did he take you once or three times or five times?”
“Just once because he was so large and hurt me. He was kind though he wanted me again. He was stiff and hard beside me all through the night. I couldn’t sleep because I knew he was in pain and in need, but whenever I told him to do what he wished to do, he refused, saying I had to heal.”
“I think,” Merrik said at last, “that the men should be grateful that Chessa lied. Cleve took her only once. We will all assume that she is smaller than most women. We will assume that she cannot judge either breadth or length. She is a woman, she knows naught of such things. Aye, let’s forget it and remember that Cleve is one of us.”
“I say we should be grateful that Cleve felt such guilt about hurting Chessa that he fell asleep,” Rorik said, and he laughed.
There was arguing, cursing, and some laughter. Entti laughed and Hafter looked at her with lust and murder in his beautiful blue eyes. As for Chessa, she merely smiled down at her toes and said nothing more. She knew the men were turning in circles. She really didn’t care now, she just wanted her husband.
Cleve stood on the ramparts of the palisade. He felt relief when he heard sporadic laughter coming from the longhouse. By all the gods, what had Laren told them now? That he had the skill of a wild dog? The stamina of a girl? He was a laughingstock. All because of his damned wife.
“Cleve?”
He turned to see her staring up at him. The night was bright with a near full moon and a sky full of stars. He saw tear streaks on her cheeks. He forgot his anger at her. “Did they hurt you, Chessa? By the gods, what did they say to you to make you cry?”
That was surely a good sign, she thought. She managed a pitiful smile. She even managed a credibly thin little voice. “I’m all right. I was worried about you. Please come with me, Cleve. I’d like to sleep on the warship. There are blankets on board. We’ll be alone and comfortable.”
“Nay. There’s Kiri.”
“Kiri is sleeping with the other children. I spent time with her today searching for plover eggs. We came to an agreement. She won’t sleep with us unless we ask her to. She did say that she might begin to count sticks though if we didn’t ask her enough times. She’s a very independent little girl, Cleve.”
In his embarrassment, Cleve laughed. “Why the warship?”