“Fine, I’ll go.” I stood up. “Any ideas where I should try to look?” Coach Hasson’s place was like a maze.
“Try the boat shed or down by the river.”
“Okay, wish me luck.”
The three of them smiled. “Good luck,” Hailee said. “And don’t take no for an answer.”
On shaky legs, I crossed the Hasson’s yard, taking the path away from the main patio down to the river. It was dark out, nothing but the silvery hue of the moon lighting the way.
“Jason?” I whisper-hissed. “Are you down
here?”
Met with nothing but silence, I kept walking, bypassing the boat shed. There was no one down here. I dropped down onto a rickety bench, watching the river shimmer and dance in the distance.
All night Jason had avoided me. But despite his cold shoulder, Hailee was right. I needed closure. I needed to know once and for all where I stood. Whether I’d dreamed up the growing connection between us. Because I knew what I felt, and Jason liked me. He just didn’t know how to handle it.
The seconds ticked by, the air like cold fingers ghosting over my face and neck. Shucking into my jacket, I stood up, ready to admit defeat and return to my friends when I heard a rustle. “Jason?” I called.
“You shouldn’t be down here,” he said from the shadows. I stepped closer, the sliver of moonlight bouncing off his hard profile, making him look even more intimidating than usual.
“I came to see if you’re okay. Hailee said she saw you arguing with your dad.”
“Hailee needs to learn to mind her own fucking business.” His tone matched his eyes.
Cold.
Guarded.
Completely devoid of emotion, despite the anger rippling off him in dark waves.
A shiver skittered along my spine and I hugged myself tight. “Jason, come on, talk to me, please.”
“And say what? I thought you got the memo yesterday.”
“So that’s it?” I stuffed down the sting of his harsh words. “You’re just going to walk away and pretend this, us, is nothing.”
“It is nothing,” he ground out. “I don’t know what else I can do to make you see that. You said it yourself, Giles; you were nothing more than a game. A game I won, and now I’m done with you.”
Tears pricked the corners of my eyes, but I would not cry, not in front of him. He didn’t deserve my tears.
Not a single one.
“Why are doing this? Why are you being so cruel? You care, Jason,” I said, steeling myself, “I know you do. You’re just scared. Scared of letting yourself feel something. Well, newsflash, I’m scared too. But I’m here. I’m willing to take a risk on you. On us.” My chest heaved with the weight of the words but Jason looked unaffected.
Indifferent.
“There is no us.” His sharp words made me flinch. “Why can’t you just accept that?”
“Because I don’t believe you. Last night—”
“You think last night meant something?” He sneered, the harshness of his stare like a hundred tiny daggers cutting into my skin. “I was doing Hailee a favor and saving everyone anymore embarrassment. You were a fucking mess.”
The words crashed over me, making my heart lurch into my throat. Blood pounded between my ears.
A fucking mess.
He hadn’t saved me because he cared… he’d saved me out of pity.