But nothing came.
I didn’t blame her. Roles reversed, I’d be pissed too.
My fingers flew over the screen.
* * *
Me: I’ll make it up to you, I promise.
* * *
My cell pinged, but it wasn’t the name I
wanted to see.
* * *
Jase: What the fuck did you do to my sister?
* * *
Jesus. She’d told him? Okay, I knew the likelihood was that Hailee had told Felicity and she’d told Jase, but still, I didn’t like thinking they all knew what a selfish asshole I’d been.
It had been a lapse in judgment. I’d taken for granted that Hailee would be waiting, that she’d understand where I was coming from.
A whole day, asshole. I ignored the little voice of reason and climbed out of bed. I needed a shower and some food since I’d gone to bed on an empty stomach.
Hitting call, I waited for Jase to answer.
“I fucked up.”
“Yeah, you did,” he ground out. “What the hell were you thinking? She was going out of her damn mind.”
“I didn’t... shit, Jase. Things were hard with Xan when I went to leave. He was a mess, I was a mess. I just needed space, ya know?”
“I get it. He’s going through some stuff and you’re carrying that responsibility, but Hailee is your—”
Everything.
She was my everything.
“Yeah, I know,” I forced the words out over the lump in my throat.
“Talk to me, Cam. Where's your head at?”
“He needs me, that’s all I know. When I’m there, he’s better, and Mom and Dad can breathe again.”
“Shit, it’s that bad?”
“Yeah. His therapist is talking about attachment disorder. But his symptoms are atypical. Kids with AD don’t usually form secure attachments to any of their caregivers, but he’s become overly attached to me.” I inhaled a shaky breath.
Xander was seven. Every year that passed since my mom’s illness, he’d withdrawn more and more. It was as if he wanted to escape my parents when they offered him nothing but love and comfort.
I hated it.
I hated that I didn’t understand why he felt that way, even though I knew it wasn’t something he chose to feel.
The whole situation made me feel powerless, but being there for him, for my parents, was something I could do. It was something I could control.