Mya
I ran.
Again.
This time I wasn’t running away from people who had the power to hurt me though. I was running from the one person who wanted to heal me.
Waking up wrapped in Asher’s arms had been a harsh reality check. I couldn’t keep running; it was time to move on. To put the past behind me and get closure on that part of my life. The only catch was I knew it meant I had to go home.
“I’ve been thinking,” I said as Aunt Ciara plated up bacon and eggs. “I want to go home for Christmas.”
She clucked her tongue. “Mya, you know that’s not—”
“Hear me out, okay?” I grabbed the glass of juice and took a big swallow. “I’m done with Jermaine, with that life. But I need closure, Auntie. I need him to know it’s over, once and for all.”
“Your mama isn’t going to like it.”
“She’ll understand. I need to go back and make things right.” Because while Jermaine had been the reason I’d run, I didn’t doubt he thought I’d betrayed him.
After all, I had just up and left. If our roles were reversed, I’d want answers too.
“I’d ask you to come but...”
“Ain’t never going to step foot in that place again, and neither should you, girl. You’re free of that life now.” Her expression softened, eyes glazed with unshed tears. “I know you think you have to do this, Mya, but you don’t owe that boy nothing.”
She was wrong though. I might not have owed it to him, but I did owe it to myself to do this.
Jermaine had once been everything to me. Best friend. Protector. Lover. You didn’t just get over the kind of history we shared. And if I was truly going to give Asher a chance, give anyone else a chance, I needed to put Jermaine in the past once and for all.
First stop: getting a new cell phone number. Second stop: visiting Mom and saying a proper goodbye to my friends.
“This isn’t about him, Aunt C. It’s about me. My life is here now. But if I’m going to truly move on, I need to do this.”
“Your mama will probably already have plans with Keelan.”
“I know. I was thinking I’d go as soon as possible. That way I can avoid their plans and be here with you on Christmas Day.”
Mom and Keelan’s relationship was complicated. He’d never lived with us, but he’d had my mom eating out of the palm of his hand for as long as I could remember. They met when she started working at his club, The Diamond. Everyone in our neighborhood knew Keelan King. He’d once ruled the streets until he’d finally moved into more legitimate businesses. He still ruled his club with an iron fist. No gang activity. No drugs. And no touching his dancers.
For a neighborhood in Badlands, Mom could have ended up with much worse.
But I still didn’t like him. I didn’t like the way he held so much power over her. Money talked though, and it was something we’d never had enough of. Mom liked to think she was his queen, but I saw it for what it was; a man taking advantage of the situation. You didn’t walk away from someone like Keelan; he decided when he was done with you.
“I don’t like it,” Aunt Ciara said. “But I won’t stop you. Just be careful. After what happened before…”
“I’ve got this, I promise.” It was only a couple of days. I’d visit my mom, see my friends, and try to talk to Jermaine before I left. If I called Shona and let her know to keep it on the down-low, there was no reason everyone had to find out I was back unless I wanted them to.
“I’m proud of you, you know?”
“You are?” I asked.
“Damn straight, I am. People think walking away is the easy way out but it’s the other way around. Staying is easy, it’s walking away that’s hard. I know you care deeply for that boy but sometimes love isn’t enough.”
She didn’t need to tell me that.
It wasn’t enough for Keelan to make a real commitment to Mom, and it hadn’t been enough to make Jermaine make better life choices. It wasn’t enough for Mr. Bennet to respect his son’s hopes and dreams, and it wasn’t enough to make me stand by and watch Jermaine throw away his life.
But coming here, to Rixon, I’d also seen glimpses of when it was enough. It was enough for my aunt to take me in, no questions asked. It was enough for Jason to put his future on the line for Felicity, and it was enough for Asher to try to protect his mom.