I couldn’t.
“He won’t even reply to my texts, what would you have me do?”
“Actions speak louder than words, Mya. He’s in a bad place, and I’m worried if someone doesn’t pull him out soon, we’ll lose him.”
His words were like a knife to the heart. I’d walked away once from a boy I loved to save myself, but could I do it again?
Asher wasn’t Jermaine. He would never readily hurt me, but the universe was cruel and unforgiving, and here we were, facing the ultimate test.
A test I wasn’t sure I’d survive.
But if it meant saving Asher...
“I’ll think about it,” I said, before I could take back the words.
“That’s all I ask.” Cameron gave me a gentle nod. “That’s all any of us can ask.”
Asher
“Another, J,” I slammed down the empty glass and flicked it toward him.
“You’re done, Son. I already let you have more than I shoulda.”
“Come on, Jerry. You know what happened. You know my mom is... fuck.” I jammed my fingers in my hair, pulling the ends in frustration, the bite of pain a welcomed reprieve from the constant numbness in my chest.
“I’m real sorry, kid, but you won’t be getting anymore liquor from me. You should go home, Son, get a cold shower and—”
“You know what, J, go fuck yourself.” I pushed back the stool and stood up, swaying as the motion hit me.
“Whoa there.” Jase grabbed my arm steadying me. “Everything okay here?” He eyed me and then glanced over at Jerry.
“Make sure he gets home, okay?”
“Will do.” Sliding his arm around my waist, Jason started dragging me toward the door, but I paused at the last second, looking over my shoulder. The whole room was spinning, but I could see Jerry. Two Jerry’s in fact. “I’m sorry,” I yelled, “about before.”
He waved me off as if it was nothing. But it wasn’t.
It was something.
It was the darkness gnawing at my soul. The growing pit in my stomach with every day that passed and Mom didn’t wake up.
“Come on, man, I got you.” Jason helped me out of the bar and into his car. I landed with a thud, my head rolling against the leather seat.
“You didn’t call,” he said when he climbed in. He and Cameron had been around as much as they could, but they had lives too. School and girlfriends and their own families to worry about. Besides, I knew I was shitty company, slipping further and further into the black hole trying so desperately to swallow me up.
“I just needed some space, ya know?”
“I’m taking you home.”
“No, no.” My voice cracked. “Anywhere but there, please. I can’t stand it there.”
He let out a heavy sigh, raking a hand down his face. “We could go to mine, but Denise has some friends over while Dad is out of town.”
“Just take me anywhere. I don’t care.” I let my head rest on the window and closed my eyes. Alcohol had seemed like a good idea when I’d turned up at Bell’s almost two hours ago. But as the buzz slowly wore off, everything seemed to multiply. It was too much for one brain to handle and I wanted to tear my skin off just so I could breathe.
“I’m losing it,” I murmured, squeezing my eyes so tight the skin around my face pinched.
“You’re not losing it. You’re under an immense amount of stress.”