Fuck.
I fisted my thigh.
She smothered a sob, turning from me to walk away, but I grabbed her arm again, pulling her to the side. “I didn’t mean…” Shit, what did I mean?
“I just had to know the truth.” Mya’s expression was crestfallen.
“The truth? I don’t understand.”
“I just needed to look you in the eye and see it.” Silent tears ran down her cheeks now, gutting me in a way I hadn’t been prepared for. “You used to look at me with such adoration. But now you look at me like you can’t stand to be around me… like you blame me. And I get it, I do. There is nothing more I wish than to take your mom’s place. But I can’t change what happened. I can’t do anything. So instead of sitting at my aunt’s, driving myself crazy with worry over you, I had to come and see for myself.”
“Mya, that’s not fair—”
“None of this is fair.” She gave a small shrug. “I’m going to testify, Asher. I want you to know I’m going to do everything I can to make sure you and your family get justice for what happened. But I’m not going to cling onto the hope that things between us will ever heal. I can’t.”
I dragged a hand down my face, trying to process everything she was saying. “You’re breaking up with me?” Disbelief coated my words.
“You can’t break up with someone you already lost, and I lost you the second that gun went off.” Pain flashed in her eyes and I wanted to do something—anything—to take it away. But it was like my head and heart were at war. My heart knew how special she was, how much we needed her. But my head; my stupid, foolhardy head, looked at Mya and saw Jermaine. Jermaine holding a gun up at my parents, at me. Saw my mom bleeding out, cradled in my dad’s arms.
It was like no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t separate the two.
“I was going to do it, you know? I was going to accept a place at Cleveland. I want you to know that, Asher. I want you to know I was going to choose you.” Mya pushed damp curls from her eyes and sucked in a harsh breath. “I really hope your mom makes a full recovery. Goodbye, Asher.”
I should have gone after her. I should have told her that we could figure things out, that I just needed time to get my head around everything that had happened.
But I didn’t.
I took the coward’s way out.
I stood there as Mya walked away from me for the last time, my heart breaking all over again.
Mya
“Oh my god, did you hear? Asher’s mom finally woke up.” Kellie Ginly locked eyes on me as I tried to give her and her friends a wide berth, her mouth curving deviously. “He called to tell me last night.”
I faltered for a second. He’d called her? But I quickly pushed aside the hurt. It wasn’t the important titbit of information I’d overheard. Mrs. Bennet was awake and that was all that mattered.
“That’s amazing, I bet he’s so relieved.” Her friends quickly burst into questions.
How is he?
What is the long-term damage?
Is he coming back to school soon?
I hitched my backpack up my shoulder and carried on down the hall. Three weeks had passed since that day in the hospital when Asher let me walk away. I hadn’t gone with the intention of ending things between us, but the second Mr. Bennet saw me standing there, I knew I had to let Asher go. I’d already caused enough pain and heartache for his family without making things worse.
The closure had been a good thing. News spread quickly that I was no longer Asher’s girl and within a few days people’s interest in me simmered. There were still the whispers and stares, but it was nothing I wasn’t used to. I filled my days with class and my new part-time job stacking shelves at the Seven-Eleven where my aunt worked. Felicity and Hailee remained loyal in their friendship, but it wasn’t the same now me and Asher were no longer together.
To the outside world, I had moved on. But I didn’t anticipate getting over him anytime soon. Asher Bennet had imprinted himself on my soul in a way that I wasn’t sure I’d ever recover from. To deal, I kept my head down and my focus on college. I’d decided to accept an offer from Temple University to study social work. If growing up in Fallowfield Heights had taught me anything, it was that more help was needed in communities where young men and women felt they had no choice but to turn to gangs, drugs, and a life of crime. It felt like coming full circle somehow, and I was counting down the days until graduation.
“There you are.” Felicity found me by my locker. “I’ve been texting you.”
“I think my cell is on silent.”
She rolled her eyes. It was a common occurrence these days. “Asher called Jason earlier, his mom is—”
“Awake, I know.”