I shook my head, my stomach clenching at the sound of his name. “Not yet. I don’t think he’ll care though.”
“No? He spent the weekend with you. I don’t think he’d do that if he didn’t care.”
Her words almost exactly echoed Christina’s, but I knew better. He didn’t want me, and if he cared about me at all, he hadn’t ever given me a clue. We were friends at best. Even that felt like an exaggeration.
****
It took less than two hours for the news of my resignation to become public knowledge once I’d given my official resignation letter to Richard. I knew he was disappointed but he didn’t try to change my mind. The team always came first, and I understood. That didn’t stop it hurting though. Honestly, even if he had begged me to reconsider, I probably wouldn’t have. It would have been nice to be asked though.
On my walk back to my office I nearly jumped out of my skin when a hand grabbed my arm, stopping me in my tracks. Whipping around, I came face to face with a very angry looking McCoy. He must have been lurking outside Richard’s office waiting for me. I hadn't expected him to appear out of nowhere and it knocked the breath out of me.
“You're leaving?”
Even in my state of numbness, the first tingling of pain began to seep into my consciousness. I didn't want to talk to him, I wasn't ready.
Looking at him through narrowed eyes, I released myself from his grip. “Yes. I am.”
“Why?”
“Why? Because I've had more than I can take from gossips and people who think I'm a slapper.”
He watched me intently, his blue eyes staring straight into mine. “I never thought you were the type who cared what others thought about you.”
Stop it. Stop trying to get into my head.
He was right though. Usually I wouldn't have worried about what people were saying, but it was much more than that.
It was him.
The simple fact of the matter was, if I'd known I could depend on Radleigh to support me, to be with me, I could have put up with the gossip.
That was more pathetic than I cared for and I said, “It's not only about that.”
“What is it about?”
“I miss my family. There's nothing left here for me now.”
“What about your job and your friends?”
For one minute I thought, hoped, he was going to say what about him.
“My friends? Will can barely stand the sight of me, Jude hasn’t forgiven me since I broke up with Miguel, Richard still has difficulty looking me in the eye, and my job is becoming so unbearable I’d rather stick needles in my eyes than come here and face so much judgement every day.”
Again, McCoy looked at me as though he had something more to say but his face hardened. “I never thought you'd be so weak, Leah.”
Weak? Was being weak providing an alibi for someone I hated, even when it almost cost me my job? Was it being weak when I ruined my reputation and my relationship with Miguel to save his ass?
“I'm not being weak. I’m cutting my losses.” I told him, before turning to walk away.
I hadn't taken more than a few steps when he grabbed me again. “Don't you think running away now will make you look more guilty?”
“Honestly, I couldn't care less what people say about me once I'm gone. I won't be here to listen to it. I'll be at home, with people who actually love and respect me.”
“You really want to go back to that place you hated so much?” he asked in an almost taunting way. “The place with all the bad memories?”
I used all the strength I could muster to hold in the tears that threatened to fill my eyes. I hadn’t thought it was possible for him to hurt me any more.
“I can't believe you just used that against me.”