“He made it quite clear that he doesn't care whether I leave or not. Why would I approach someone like that?”
“Because his enormous ego prevents him from making the first move.”
“All he had to do was show up here tonight, say goodbye, and that would be the end of it.”
“Would it?”
“Yes,” I said firmly, not wanting to confess my feelings to Radleigh's closest friend. “It would.”
As I walked away from Bryce, that horrible ache began to fill me again and I sat down at the nearest table, not bothering to check whether it was already taken. The weight of the grief I’d been carrying around had got too much. I needed to let it pass. Not that it ever really went away. But sometimes it was stronger. Talking about Radleigh instead of just thinking about him had made it more real again.
I couldn't stand it. I hadn't left America yet and I missed him already.
“Leah, come and dance with me.”
Miguel was offering me his hand and I let him lead me down to the throng of clubbers, where he gently pulled me close to him.
It felt kind of nice to be in his arms again. Not in the same way it used to. But it was comfortable, familiar. And as always he had come along at the right moment to save me.
It had stopped being awkward whenever we saw each other. Everything that had happened between us seemed to have been brushed under the carpet. We never mentioned it at all. Not just me cheating on him, but the whole relationship. It was sad that it had to be that way because the time I'd been with him was something I'd never forget. But if pretending we had never happened was what it took for us to have a friendship, I was happy enough with it.
“So, where is he?” Miguel asked.
“Where is who?”
He raised his eyebrows in a 'don't pretend you don't know who I mean' kind of way.
“Let's not go there.”
I hadn't yet recovered from the last mention of Radleigh.
“I thought he'd be here,” Miguel pressed on.
“I thought he'd be here too. But he's not.”
“He really is a dick.”
“You won't hear any arguments from me on that score. I'm looking forward to the day when I won't ever have to see him again.”
“Right. Now tell me the truth. I don't doubt that you think he's an idiot, it's a popular opinion. But that's not all of it. You’ve been looking around for him all night.”
I was ready to protest but the only thing that came out of my mouth was a tiny squeak, followed by a lone tear that slid down my cheek.
“I'm sorry,” he said. “I'll shut up now.”
“I'm sorry too,” I told him, resting my head on his shoulder and trying to stop the flow of tears that had been threatening to fall all evening. “Apparently I’m over-emotional tonight.”
“Well, maybe if you were honest about what's upsetting you, it might be easier.”
“I thought he’d be here. For one last petty argument if nothing else.”
“Like I said, he's a dick. I don't know how he could let you leave like this.”
“Simple. He’s just not bothered.”
“Leah, do you love him?”
I froze for a second then looked up at him with uncertainty, and he said, “Tell me.”