“Okay. But can you promise me you won't pretend everything's fine if it isn't? I don't want you to bottle everything up and not talk about it.”
“Josh, stop fussing. I'm a big girl now. I can look after myself.”
“I'm worried about you.”
“I appreciate it, but it's bad enough having to put up with mum looking at me like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown at any minute, without you joining in too.”
“I'm sorry. I will stop being so big brother-ish now. Let's just have breakfast and talk about something else.”
Thankfully, that was what we did. After breakfast we went to Josh and Christina's new house. It really was beautiful, with its four large bedrooms, the most enormous kitchen I?
?d ever set foot in and a huge back garden for the kids to play in, complete with swings and a slide.
We spent the rest of the day catching up and for the first time in weeks I felt relaxed. When Christina asked me to stay for the night, I jumped at the offer. Anything to put off going home for a bit longer. It felt claustrophobic at my house with my mum's eyes constantly following me around. I was close to my parents but they never understood my desperate desire to get as far away from Cornwall as possible. They’d both lived there all their lives and believed everyone else should do the same.
When Josh brought Jamie home from school, my nephew launched himself at me and hugged me tightly.
“Hello sweetheart.”
“Auntie Leah! You're really home!”
“I am,” I laughed. “How are you?”
“I'm okay. School was boring!”
“Have you got any homework?”
“Nope,” he announced, happily. “I don't have homework on Tuesdays, so I’m allowed to watch football now.”
I looked over the top of Jamie's head at Josh, who said, “I have to record it for him, because he can't stay up to watch it.”
Of course, international football would be on at unsociable hours.
“Auntie Leah,” Jamie said. “Will you watch it with me?”
I gave Josh a panicked look. I didn't want to disappoint Jamie, but I wasn’t ready to watch the people I’d only just left behind. It was far too soon.
“You'll have to watch on your own for a while, buddy,” Josh answered. “Auntie Leah is sleeping here tonight, so I have to take her home to grab some clean clothes for tomorrow.”
Jamie was so thrilled by the prospect of me staying over, he wasn't too disappointed about me missing the game.
As soon as he’d settled in front of the television, Josh drove me home. I let him deal with mum and dad while I threw some clean clothes into a bag. I knew he wanted to tell them to back off and give me some space, and rather than be in the room while he was doing it, I decided to keep out of the way. I think it worked because when I went into say goodbye to them, they smiled which was a welcome change from the looks of concern I’d been getting since my return.
Back at Josh and Christina's I managed to avoid watching the match by helping Christina with both the cooking and the washing up, then giving Grace a bath and putting her to bed. After watching TV for a while with Jamie curled up on my lap, it was finally time to put him to bed too. He insisted that I be the one to do it, so I told him to go and put his pyjamas on and clean his teeth.
Jamie's bedroom was like a shrine to the Warriors and it was entirely my fault because I’d sent most of it to him. All over the walls were posters of the players, and his duvet, curtains and lampshade were emblazoned with the Westberg logo.
“Wow,” I said, looking around in amusement.
“Do you like it?” Jamie asked enthusiastically.
“It's … interesting.”
Jamie smiled and dived into his bed, wrapping himself in his duvet in much the same way I’m partial to doing.
I made sure he was properly tucked in, then sat down beside him. I was about to say goodnight when a photograph beside Jamie's bed caught my attention.
I lifted the frame to look at it more closely. It was a photo of me, Radleigh and Jamie at the Aquarium. I remembered the exact moment it had been taken. It was right before we left, and Josh had insisted we had our photo taken together. I'd grumbled but Radleigh had put his arm around me, and with Jamie in front of us, we’d been snapped.