God, suddenly everything made so much sense. The need to try and control me. The need to be around Jessica. The reluctance to look at or talk to me, because if he had, he knew he wouldn’t be able to hide it anymore. He’d have cracked and told me the thing he’d been trying to hide.
I swallowed, readying myself to form a coherent sentence. “Where’s Jessica?” I didn’t trust myself to say anything else just yet. A red mist clouded my vision but thinking about Jessica grounded me for long enough that I didn’t launch myself at Radleigh and start pummelling him.
“She’s asleep,” Deanna said. “I’ve put her in her room for now. If you want to take her home, you can, of course. I just thought maybe she’d be better to stay here tonight since she’s only just settled.”
As much as I wanted to take her, I knew Deanna was right. She’d had enough disruption for one night. At least when the yelling started she was far enough away from it in this huge house that it wouldn’t wake her up again.
“Thanks, Dee.” I glanced back at Radleigh who still hadn’t moved, then back to Deanna who shrugged. “Can you give us a minute?”
“Sure.” Deanna gave my shoulder a quick squeeze and she jerked her head in the direction of the door, gesturing for Mitch to leave Radleigh and me alone.
Once they’d gone – door closed behind them – I slowly approached him and knelt on the floor in front of him. I said nothing. I did nothing. I just waited. Eventually he raised his head, and the second his gaze fell on mine, he knew. I didn’t know exactly what my stare portrayed, but it was as if he’d read my mind. Like he could see everything I was thinking.
All words died in my throat with his eyes on me. They seemed to stare right through me, and everything I’d wanted to scream at him fell away because for the first time in days, I had my man back. The one who always told me the truth. The one who was honest. The one who would have walked through fire for me.
My body trembled as the silence started to deafen me, and he reached out and took my hands in his. He ran his thumbs across my knuckles, his jaw twitching a little as he appeared to be searching for the right thing to say. Eventually, he licked his lips as if to moisten them, and said, “What happened?”
I drew in a slow breath. “You tell me, Radleigh. You tell me right now why your ex-girlfriend showed up at our house after you’d gone. Like she knew you would go.” A horrible thought suddenly hit me like a freight train. “Oh my God. Was she… did you let her in while I was at Freya’s?”
Radleigh shook his head, his eyebrows drawn together. “No. I didn’t even know she knew where we live.”
“So, what? She was just lurking outside in case you left?”
I hated the suspicion in my voice but it made no sense that she’d have been outside our house if she hadn’t expected something to happen. Again, I was reminded of Taylor. The similarities between the two were uncanny, from their stalking habits down to that evil glint they both got in their eye when they hit you with a painful truth.
“I don’t know.” Radleigh let go of my hands and sighed, his eyes leaving mine, and silently telling me he did know something.
A lump was forming in my throat, though I couldn’t fully explain why. Maybe because Jen being back in L.A had always been my worst nightmare. I knew how much Radleigh had loved her, how her cheating on him had ripped him apart, and how it had taken him a long time to consider being with someone else - trusting someone else. That person. The first person you ever truly love. They leave a mark on you. Sometimes it’s just a little scar, something that will always be a part of you, and sometimes it’s something deeper. A wound that, although healed, has the potential to burst open when faced with reminders of the past. Jen was a wound. A deep, threatening wound I’d done my best to mend. Suddenly, I was no longer sure I’d done enough.
“What did she tell you?” Radleigh asked.
“I want to know what she told you. I want to know how long you knew she was here, and how often you’ve seen her, and why you didn’t tell me. I want to know why she was the one to approach me when you should have told me the second you first saw her.”
When Radleigh still wouldn’t look at me, I raised my hand and shoved his shoulder back, my hand slapping against his hard muscle, hoping to get a reaction. He didn’t even flinch. I waited a moment to see if he would respond, and when he didn’t, I pushed him again.
I hated it. Hated how he’d shut down from this already. That instead of explaining, he expected me to do the talking.
“Dammit, Radleigh! Talk to me!”
I clenched my fists, ready to pound them against his chest, but he grabbed my wrists to stop me, his fingers curling painfully around the wrist he’d injured earlier. I didn’t care that it hurt, I wanted to inflict some of the agony inside me on him and I fought hard to get free of him, my arms attempting to flail out of his grip.
“Let go!” I snapped, struggling without success to get him off me. “Get. Off!”
After one almighty tug I managed to get one hand free and I wasted no time in thudding my fist into his chest, still trying to get my other arm free too. “How could you not tell me?” I screamed. “How could you keep telling me everything was okay?”
“Leah, stop!” He grabbed the hand that was hitting him and forced both hands down by my sides, using his full strength. I had no choice but to stop struggling and when he was sure I was done fighting him,
he let go, leaving me shaking with the rage I’d been forced to suppress. My head pounded, threatening to crack my skull, and I turned away from him, unable to take his silence.
“She’s lying, Leah. Whatever she’s told you, she’s lying.”
I took some long, slow breaths. Because, yeah, of course there was every chance she was lying. In fact, I really hadn’t fully considered the repercussions if she wasn’t. I wasn’t angry about her bombshell; I was angry that he hadn’t told me himself.
“How long have you known?” I asked, my voice dangerously low. “When did she tell you her eldest son is yours, Radleigh?”
Saying the words out loud made vomit rise in my throat, and I swallowed hard, breathing deeply again. When Jen had told me… when she’d revealed her reasons for returning to Los Angeles, it was as if I’d been temporarily paralysed. “Jayden is Radleigh’s son.” That was all I could hear while the rest of my body shut down. Numbness overtook me so much I barely noticed the smirk of satisfaction she gave me before she left.
“She told me on Tuesday.”