But we didn’t talk about it either. It was as if our lives were suspended, and until the results came in, we didn’t want to deal with it. The atmosphere at home wasn’t as it should have been. Although I’d forgiven Radleigh for not telling me sooner, I still couldn’t relax. Neither of us could, and that feeling of uneasiness was reflected in Jessica’s mood. I was sure she was picking up on the vibe and she wasn’t her usual, chirpy self. She fought against her usual sleep patterns, screaming and kicking because she didn’t want to be away from me. I’d had to sleep in her nursery with her the night after Radleigh took her to Deanna’s because she wouldn’t settle.
Radleigh continued to get up and go to work, and I continued to do the mum thing. I didn’t even spend much time with my friends. Of course, by this time, the truth of Jen’s reappearance, her reason for it, had been made public. Not front page news public, but people on the team knew, and it almost felt as though the tension of all this was being felt by everyone. It wasn’t just Freya and Bryce and the few other people who had known Jen back in the day who were edgy. Everyone who’d been witness to my turbulent relationship with Radleigh seemed to be anxious – that was how close we were as friends, and as a team – and with all those eyes on us, I felt it better to keep away.
The day the results dropped into the mailbox, the tension in the house escalated, not least because we’d finally had to let Jen inside. As much as I hated it, it was her child’s father that was being potentially revealed, so we’d invited her over for the big moment.
She sat on our sofa, eyeing our living room critically. As her gaze rested on the two large watercolour paintings of the Cornish seaside that hung on the white walls, her lip turned in to a sneer. Perhaps only world famous artists adorned her walls, but those touches of my home in England meant more to me than any million-dollar canvas ever would. Jen continued to glance around with mild disdain, and as she did, I kept my own critical eye on her. She’d chosen a slightly more demure look this time. Her face was still flawless, but instead of vampy red lips, she’d gone for a very subtle pink, and instead of a low cut t-shirt, she’d gone for a white button up shirt which was almost done all the way to the top. Perhaps she wanted to give the impression of a responsible mother, but the one thing she couldn’t change was the glimmer of evil in her eyes. I would have sworn she had three sixes branded onto her forehead under her sweeping fringe.
Radleigh wandered into the room, nervously tapping the envelope that could change our lives against his hand. Both Jen and I turned him as he stood in the doorway, his large shoulders tense again. He fixed his gaze on me and I read his thoughts easily. Everything in that look told me he was as scared as me, but that he loved me, and that we would get through this. I tried to give him a reassuring smile but the sight of the envelope he held made my body quiver and my smile probably looked more like a grimace.
The silence in the room was heavy around us as we waited for him to tear the envelope open. To tell us what we needed to know. I suddenly realised how guests on the Jeremy Kyle show felt when they waited for the truth to be revealed. My heart began to hammer again, and I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself.
“Would you open it already?” Jen said, not a hint of nervousness in her voice or in her features. That only unsettled me further, though. Her complete belief that she was right, that Radleigh was Jayden’s father, made my stomach churn.
“She’s right,” I said, swallowing hard. “Please. Just do it.”
Radleigh gave a short nod, then taking a deep breat
h, he tore open the envelope and unfolded the piece of paper inside. I couldn’t take my eyes off him as he read the words in front of him.
He didn’t need to say anything. His face paled and he stumbled slightly, steadying himself on the doorframe as his eyes frantically scanned the page again, as if looking for a mistake.
My heart plummeted into my stomach and Jen let out a triumphant laugh. “I told you, Radleigh. I told you. Congratulations. You have a son.”
Radleigh’s shaking hands placed the results on the arm of the chair and he stared at me. “I really thought she was lying.”
My eyes slowly closed as the last remains of everything I knew shattered in front of me. This was it. It was true. Jen Winters was well and truly in our lives. Forever.
“Now we know,” Jen went on, as if our world hadn’t just been flipped on its head, “we should talk about when you can meet Jayden. He’s so excited to meet his daddy. I think we should do it sooner rather than later. You’ve already missed out on so much, and-”
Completely ignoring her, Radleigh walked towards me then sank to his knees in front of me. “This is going to be okay, Leah. I promise.”
His hands covered mine and I nodded, even though both of us were still shaking. “I know,” I whispered, even though deep in my heart, I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t sure of anything.
“Radleigh,” Jen said, breaking our moment with her annoying voice. “Don’t you think so?”
Without looking in her direction, he said, “Can you please just give us a second?”
There was a pause then she stood up. “Of course. But, like I said yesterday, we really shouldn’t waste any time. You said yourself, you don’t want to miss out on any more time with him.”
It was as if the world stopped turning for a moment. The atmosphere that was already thick became oppressive until I almost couldn’t breathe. Like I said yesterday…
“You talked yesterday?” I asked quietly.
“We met up yesterday,” Jen said, sounding shocked I didn’t know. Looking at her, the small smirk quirking her lip told me she’d made that comment knowing exactly how I’d feel about it. “We had coffee.”
Radleigh got to his feet and spun around to face her. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Why can’t you do anything without causing trouble?”
“Darling, you shouldn’t be lying to Leah. You’re four months from getting married. It’s not healthy to keep secrets, you know?”
I didn’t look up, but I didn’t need to. The room grew cold with the force of his anger and he snarled, “Get. Out.”
There was another pause before I heard her shuffle around for her bag, then her footsteps padded across the carpet. I didn’t raise my head until I heard the front door close.
“Before I lose my temper over this,” I began, “do you want to explain what she just said?”
He turned to me again, his jaw still clenched, but he wasn’t mad at me. He was mad at Jen for blurting out their little secret, and as he took a few deep breaths, the anger slowly eased.
“Leah… it’s not how it sounds. I didn’t…. I mean… I-”