She laughed. “I’ll go order it for you, stay there.”
“Thanks.”
Already I felt better and some of my tension over potentially bumping into Radleigh eased.
“So, what’s going on?” Richard asked. “Would you prefer to talk in the office, or…?”
“I’m good here. I have no problem with Freya hearing anything I have to say. Saves me saying it twice.”
Richard shook his head. “I can’t keep up with all the rumours, Leah. What’s really happening with you and Radleigh?”
I glanced down at the table, wishing there was something for me to fiddle around with while I talked, but there would be nothing until Freya came back with a knife and fork.
“We’re in a mess.” I sighed. “Probably the biggest mess we’ve ever been in. So we’re taking some time apart so he can get used to having a new son, and so he can figure out why he keeps lying to me about being with Jen.”
“Is he with her?”
“I don’t think so. I don’t think he knows where he wants to be, and until he does, I don’t want him with me. I can’t handle him only being half there.”
Richard nodded slowly. “The photos in the papers…”
“He says they mean nothing. That she threw herself at him for the kiss, and that the hand-holding was just a fleeting moment. I want to believe him. But he’s kept things from me and that doesn’t make me too confident that we have a future.”
The words hurt my mouth as they came out, like they were made of poison that threatened to kill me from the inside. The thought of him not being my future made my stomach knot. The crippling uncertainty was getting harder with each passing day but I forced a smile. “I don’t know where we’ll be in a few weeks from now, let alone a year.”
Again, Richard nodded. “I still want you back on the team.”
I snorted out a laugh. “Sure you do. Because you’re a big fan of soap operas, right? That’s what you called my relationship with Radleigh before, wasn’t it?”
He gave a small grin. “It was a soap opera. It might always be a soap opera. But I want you back.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re great at your job. Because although you’ve been happy since you left, that little glint in your eyes you used to have when you walked in here every day is missing. I know we talked about this already, but I think having a job again would be so good for you.”
“I haven’t changed my mind, Richard. I’d still like to come back. But if Radleigh and I don’t get through this, I think it would be a mistake to have us both here.”
He reached over and touched my hand. “Can you do one thing for me? Before your food gets here, go downstairs to your old office. Just stand there for a few minutes. If you can tell me you feel nothing, I’ll give up. I don’t think that’ll happen, though.”
I rolled my eyes but stood up to do as he asked. I didn’t need to. I already knew how I’d feel because I felt it every time I walked by my former work space. It felt like home. As I walked down the stairs I pondered the mechanics of working there if Radleigh and I split. Perhaps I should have been able to separate the two things, but the truth was, it was impossible because all of my early time in L.A had been about both. Westberg and Radleigh. There was no breaking them apart.
Reaching the bottom of the staircase, I stopped dead as I saw Jen standing exactly where I was headed. Outside my former office. Radleigh was nowhere in sight though, and I was about to turn and go back up the stairs when she spotted me.
“Leah. Are you looking for Radleigh?”
“No. No, I was looking for… something else.”
She walked towards me, her heels clacking against the stone floor. “We just had lunch together, but he left his phone in the diner. He’ll be here soon.”
I nodded, not wanting to give anything away if I could help it. God, she looked smug. The glimmer in her eyes told me she enjoyed telling me she’d been with Radleigh, and that she was now the one who knew where he was and when.
“Well, I’m going to go back up and have lunch,” I said, forcing a smile. “I’m sure I’ll see you again soon.”
“Oh, no doubt.” I turned away and she added, “I was sorry to hear about Bree. So sad to lose a baby.”
Glancing back at her over my shoulder, I said, “I’ll pass along your condolences.”
“Please do. But, you know, on the bright side, at least she’ll have her figure back in time to fit in her dress for your… oh.”