“Leah, come on.” I wrapped my arm around her shoulders. “I think you’re confusing him with the old Radleigh.”
“Since when did you become his biggest fan?” she mumbled, and I laughed.
“Since he made my best friend happier than I’ve ever seen her.” Leah lifted her head, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. Her misery caused an unpleasant twinge inside me and I held her tighter. “Honey, Radleigh is… Radleigh. He’s always going to have that quick temper, and he’s always going to say and do things that make you crazy. He’s also always going to have a past, and knowing what his was like, I can understand why you’d worry. But ask anyone and they’ll tell you the same thing. He’s with you. He loves you, and that’s obvious to everyone.”
“For now. What about when we’re up to our eyeballs in nappies, and the baby’s screaming all night long?”
“You’re both equally responsible for creating your baby, Leah. You make it sound like he’ll resent you for it.”
“Maybe he will.”
“Maybe you’ll resent him.”
Her brow furrowed. “Why would I? Fast as it is, this is everything I want.”
I had to refrain from rolling my eyes good-naturedly at her. “It’s everything he wants, too.”
“I know. Logically, I know that. But I can’t stop myself snapping at him, and I can’t stop thinking the worst. I don’t know what to do.”
“Sure you do. You have to talk to him.”
And there it was again. That awful stabbing sensation that resembled jealousy when I spent too long with people who actually had a significant other to tell their problems too. I didn’t begrudge them happiness; far from it. I kind of wanted to shake Leah’s shoulders and tell her to hold on to Radleigh as tight as possible because nobody ever knows when it could all be snatched away.
That’s the thing about life, I suppose. Everyone has their own stuff going on, their own perspectives. Mine had altered so radically since Will died it was no surprise I barely recognised myself. I’d never taken what I had for granted. Never. But if I’d known what was around the corner, maybe I’d have done things differently.
But how?
Would I have told Will I loved him sooner? Or would I have continued to shy away from our relationship to avoid getting hurt?
Nope. I’d have been hurt either way, because no matter what, I’d still have been in love with him, and having him for a short time was better than never having the chance to know how it felt to hold him, to kiss him, to make love to him.
Leah’s hand covered mine, bringing me back to reality, and as I looked at her I knew she knew what I was thinking.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m being an ungrateful cow, aren’t I?”
“No. You’re allowing yourself to feel how you feel. That’s not a bad thing. Just… make sure you don’t let it blind you to what you have. To what’s real.”
She nodded, blinking a couple of times to clear the tears from her eyes. “Come with me.”
Leah stood up, and still holding my hand, pulled me up too then led me back into the house and up the stairs. We walked down the hallway to the bedroom door next to Leah and Radleigh’s.
“You wanna see something adorable?” she asked.
“Hell yeah!”
She chuckled and opened the door. When we stepped inside, I gasped and covered my mouth with my hands. “Oh my goodness.”
What was formerly one of many guest rooms had turned into a nursery any baby would be lucky to have. The furnishings were in soft pastel colours, and everything Leah and Radleigh would need to take care of their bundle of joy was right there. A beautiful crib was the centrepiece of the room, and there was an area in the corner similar to the one in my living room, with huge pillows scattered around. And the walls… wow. Someone had painted cartoon jungle animals on the back wall, all cute and squishy looking. I kind of wanted to move in myself!
“This is awesome, Leah! I love it.”
She rested her hands on her stomach and gently rubbed the bump there. “Me too. Of course, if Radleigh had his way, this room would be decorated with footballs and race cars.” Leah smiled fondly. “I had to point out there is a good chance we’ll have a girl, and she might not be so crazy about football and race cars. So, we reached a compromise. Ethan did the painting on the walls.”
“Ethan? You mean…?”
“Yeah. He did a great job, huh?”
“He sure did.”