If I Let You Go

Slaggy, and out of character. Until Dominic, I hadn’t slept with anyone other than Neil in three years, and only a handful of times. Apparently, I wasn’t cut out for a life of debauchery.

“It’s fine,” Neil said, though he was visibly pissed off. I couldn’t blame him.

Once the launch sequence has been activated, not reaching take off is always disappointing.

He stood up. “I should go. Some of my mates are clubbing again tonight, so I might join them for a few drinks.”

“Okay,” I said, with a small smile. “Have a good night.”

“You too.”

He didn’t bother with a goodbye kiss, and I was too disheartened to care.

Once he’d gone, I threw myself back onto the sofa with a groan.

What the hell just happened? There had never been a time with Neil that wasn’t charged with horniness. On the other hand, there had never been a time when I was so freaked out. My brain was crammed with questions about what I’d do when I lost my job, where I’d live, and how I was going to help Dominic with Tilly.

Dominic. I’ve heard so many people wishing they could turn back the clock to erase a mistake, but I’d never really felt that way. I’ve made poor errors in judgement like everyone else, but I never believed in regrets. What’s the point in regretting something you once wanted? But sleeping with Dominic was something I desperately wished I could undo. It wasn’t that I didn’t want him at the time, I did. But when the haze cleared, we couldn’t just go our separate ways. We had to live together, work together.

I arrived back at the flat early Sunday evening. More than anything, I wanted to curl up in bed for a nap. I was off duty, after all. As I walked through the door, I caught a glimpse of Tilly, just as she disappeared into her room, closing the door with a bang.

The scene was already far too familiar.

A swishing sound came from the kitchen, and I found Dominic crouched on the floor, sweeping up the shattered remains of a dinner plate, along with what looked like a full roast dinner with all the trimmings.

Two choices. Stay and help, or sneak back out? As appealing as creeping away sounded, I couldn’t just leave him there.

“Need a hand?”

Dominic jumped, clearly so lost in his own thoughts, he’d failed to hear the front door open. His body was tense, his face stony.

“It’s okay,” he said, “I’ve got it.”

Without a word, I filled the kettle with water and flicked it on to boil as Dominic continued to clean up the mess. Had there been carpet in the kitchen, the upturned meal would have left an ugly stain, but the black tiles were easy to wipe. When the last traces of gravy were gone, Dominic dumped the broken plate pieces in the bin, washed his hands, then left the room.

>

I fixed him a cup of tea, and took it through to the living room where I knew he’d be, head in hands, on one of the huge leather sofas.

“Thank you,” he said, taking it from me. “I didn’t know what time you’d be home, but I made enough dinner for you too. It’s in the oven.”

This was just another reason I loved working for him. Even though he was supposed to spend his weekends doing things with Tilly, he never left all the work for me. In fact, he made a real effort to pitch in so I’d have less to do.

“Thanks, I’ll get it in a minute. Are you okay?”

He let out a deep sigh, resting his drink on the table beside him. “I’ve had better days.”

“What happened?”

“Tilly has decided she’s not eating today. She wouldn’t eat her lunch, she refused to go out, and at dinner time, she was still pissed off with me, so she threw her roast beef on the floor.”

“Did she say anything?”

“I believe the words, ‘I hate you’ were mentioned.”

I sank down on the sofa beside him. He’d been stressed when I left on Saturday, but it was nothing compared to how he looked now. He obviously hadn’t slept much, and the strain showed in his pale complexion and the way his body was rigid with tension.

“Did you talk to her any more about New York?”