If I Let You Go

I didn’t give myself time to register the expression on his face, I lowered my head and started to walk out.

“Wait, what?”

Still refusing to look at him, I said, “She just called. She said she didn’t want you to worry about anything while you’re away next week.”

He swore under his breath. “Maddi-”

“Madison,” I corrected. “You don’t need to explain, but I have to run. Lucy’s mum is expecting you to pick Tilly up at ten thirty tomorrow, but stay by the phone tonight because there’s a chance Tilly might want to come home sooner. I’ll see you on Sunday.”

I took another step towards the hall, but Dominic, gently put his hand on my arm. “Slow down. Can we at least talk about Tilly before you go?”

If you’d been here instead of shacked up with some tart, you’d know all you needed to.

“It wasn’t like that,” he said.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t need to. I know what you’re thinking, and it wasn’t … it’s nothing, okay? I-”

I held up my hands to stop him. “None of my business.”

On the way to my room, I took my phone out of my pocket and sent a text to Neil.

R u busy?

I didn’t expect an instant response, so when my mobile beeped again right away, I nearly dropped it.

Not busy. You wanna do something?

Can I come over?

Of course. What time?

Now.

Lol, okay, shall I get the Barry White CDs out? ;)

Smiling, I typed back: No need for romance, just open a bottle of wine and I’m all yours. And this time, I won’t change my mind.

I put my phone down on my bed, and threw some things into a bag with a weird sense of déjà vu.

“You know what, you’re right,” Dominic said, following me into my room. “It’s none of your business, but it’s obviously pissed you off, so before things get any more uncomfortable between us, I’d like to get it out in the open.”

“Dom, why do you always want to talk everything out?” I sighed. “It’s been a rough week. And you knew that. Hearing Tilly crying in her room, having her crawl into my bed in the middle of the night – it hurts. You could have been here, you should have been here. Instead, you lied to me and you lied to Tilly and that’s not okay.”

“I didn’t lie. I was called to New York. But Serena … she’s … we were-” he trailed off again, and I wondered what the hell was so difficult for him to say. Was she just a friend? Was she important?

Do I care?

“I was seeing her,” he said, eventually, sitting down on my bed. “Not seriously, we were … like you and Neil. We work together, we were attracted to each other and it was just … easy. But she started wanting more from me than I was willing to give.”

“Why weren’t you willing?”

“Because she’s a self-involved, shallow bitch. Makes me sound like a dick for sleeping with her for so long, but she wasn’t so bad at first. But the more I got to know her, the less I liked her.”

It sounded nothing like what I had with Neil. We both knew where we stood, we didn’t want a relationship, but we still had respect for each other.

“I broke things off with her last week,” he went on. “But when she found out I was in New York this week, she wanted to see me. She invited me over to her flat last night, tried to get me to change my mind. The only reason I left my work there was because I was in such a rush to get away from her. I thought I’d made my feelings clear, but if she called here-”