“I don’t care about Taylor!” I shouted. “Today I actually did something I care about but that doesn’t matter to you, does it? What were you thinking? I’d go, get it out of my system, and that would be it? That I’d be scared by a day of work?”
“You didn’t give me a chance to ask.”
“Because you were too busy telling me what I can’t do!”
Jude shook his head and started towards the stairs. “I’ll talk to you when you’ve calmed down. I’m going for a shower.”
“Stop ignoring me!” I yelled at his retreating back. “You just told Taylor to stay away from ‘your wife,’ well you know what? That’s not all I am!”
Jude turned back to me. “What’s with you? You’ve been jumping down my throat the last few weeks over nothing.”
“You think the things I want are nothing? That’s great. Really great.”
“Come on, I never said that. All I asked was that you make sure you’re doing this for the right reasons.”
“What does that even mean? Isn’t not wanting to be stuck in this house a good enough reason? You get to leave! You go to work, and you-”
“You’re not stuck here. You’re free to come and go when you want.”
I wanted him to yell. I wanted him to stop being so reasonable and yell at me but he wouldn’t. He never raised his voice. He’d never needed to because we’d never argued. We used to joke maybe there was something wrong with us because we never fought over anything. We fit together in every way, and if anything bothered either of us, we talked it through.
Why was me wanting a job the first bump in our usually smooth road? When I asked him why, he kept saying the same thing over and over. I want you to be sure. Like I’d be signing my life away if I committed to a couple of classes.
He’d sucked the happy right out of my day with his lack of interest and his telling me what to do. I had to get away.
“I’m going out,” I said. “Right now.”
I picked up my purse which I’d left by the door, and although Jude called my name, I walked out.
Taylor was still standing at the end of our driveway.
She leaned back against one of the stone pillars, her head down. Was this a flash of genuine sadness?
Honestly, I didn’t care whether she was being real or fake. I just needed a drink.
“You wanna
go to Genie’s?”
Her head snapped up. “You serious?”
“Hell yeah. I’ll buy you a coke.”
Taylor continued to stare at me with uncertainty but when I gave her an encouraging smile, her eyes brightened. “Okay.”
Genie’s was my favourite place to hang out. Since it was close to Freya’s apartment, she and I often went there for drinks after work, or before going out to a club. The bar was casual, mostly filled with surfers and sun worshippers so it didn’t require any kind of dress code. In fact, if you wore more than a bikini in there during the day, people stared because you’d overdressed.
Taylor and I grabbed our drinks; coke for her, juice for me. I desperately wanted a cocktail but I wasn’t so good at handling my drink yet. Even though I was totally pissed with Jude for being so dismissive about my day, I’d dragged Taylor along. I figured I should show some level of responsibility.
On the other hand, alcohol would have helped lessen my guilt about being with her.
Genie’s wasn’t too busy and we easily found a place to sit. Right by the door so I could get away if I needed to.
Taylor stared at me across the table, turning her coke glass around in her hands. “Why the sudden change of heart about hanging out with me?”
I'd never seen her looking so unsure. Like I was the one to worry about. I'd always been kind to her, even slightly more than everyone else after what she did. I suppose when someone has an ulterior motive for every action it's easy to think everyone else does the same. Not me. I'm a what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of girl and I assumed everyone else to be the same, which was the reason she'd found it so easy to play me in the first place.
“I haven't had a change of heart. I'm here because I had to get away from Jude and you hadn't left yet. Plus, doing something I shouldn't seemed like a really good idea.”