He smiled then rolled his eyes. “Okay. See you on the other side.”
Just like the night before, I automatically walked to the coffee machine as soon as James and Jayden had gone into Radleigh’s room. As I watched the hot liquid fill the large cup, I wondered how this would all play out.
Having Jayden live with us would be an enormous change for all of us. We’d have to add another person to our daily routine, and learn all the little things he liked and didn’t like. It wasn’t the big things that concerned me. It was those little things we just didn’t know about Jayden that made me nervous. Of course, we would learn them, and we wanted to. But it would be strange for a long time. It wouldn’t be the same as when we had Jessica. She was brand new, and we’d been there to watch her personality develop. Jayden already had a whole bunch of characteristics and nuances we’d have to familiarise ourselves with. What if there was a conflict? What if he didn’t like me? How would we even go about discipline, because he was clearly used to things being a certain way. What if our ways were different? I didn’t want to confuse him.
I supposed the situation wasn’t that different to the way a family adjusts when parents re-marry and step-children are involved. But in those cases, the child has one parent with them who they know. For Jayden? Not so much.
I sat with my coffee for thirty minutes, going back and forth over everything in my head, not reaching any conclusions. James and Jayden came out of Radleigh’s room, James looking somewhat harassed. Deep worry lines creased his forehead.
“Can you watch Jayden for a while?” James asked. “Radleigh and I have to talk about serious stuff.”
I nodded. “Sure.” I stood up and held my hand out to Jayden. “How about we go find the cafeteria and get some cake?” He gave a small smile and nodded as he walked towards me and took my outstretched hand. I ruffled his hair then looked back at James. “Come find us when you’re done?”
“Sure.”
He blew out a breath before returning to Radleigh’s room, and I smiled down at Jayden and said, “Come on, buddy. Let’s go get something to eat.”
The hospital cafeteria was only two floors up from Radleigh’s ward, and we took the lift instead of the stairs because, frankly, I was still too low on energy to do much walking. The cafeteria was large and open, with huge windows letting the light stream inside. There weren’t too many people in there, so Jayden and I were served quickly. We both ordered chocolate doughnuts. I got another coffee, and Jayden had an orange juice. We sat down at a table by the window, and once we were settled, he said, “My daddies were fighting.”
His head lowered and he poked at his doughnut, making fingerprints in the chocolate icing.
“What were they saying?” I asked gently.
“My… Daddy… James…” he looked up at me, and it was clear he was confused about which man he was supposed to call Daddy at this point.
“I’ll tell you what,” I said. “Just for now, why don’t you call them James and Radleigh, just so I can understand.”
Jayden nodded. “James thinks I should go to New York with him. He told Radleigh that this isn’t my home. And Radleigh said that it is my home, and… then James took me outside.”
“So it was only a little fight?” I asked. Good thinking on James’s part getting Jayden out of there before they really went for it. I just hoped Radleigh didn’t get so wound up that he hurt himself. Right then, I had to keep my focus on Jayden, though. Radleigh could take care of himself; Jayden couldn’t.
Jayden nodded again. “But Daddy… James looked mad. I… I want my mommy.”
His lower lip quivered and a tear dripped down his cheek. Without a second thought, I jumped up from my seat and moved around the table to sit beside him, pulling him onto my lap. He wrapped his arms around my neck and held on tight.
“My mommy did a bad thing, didn’t she?” he said quietly.
“Yeah.” I stroked his hair gently. “She did.”
“But I miss her.”
I wasn’t sure what to tell him since I had no idea where things stood with visitation. Would he even be allowed to visit her? The idea of having to take a small child into a prison made me shudder. Radleigh wouldn’t want to take him, that was for sure, and I certainly had no desire to see Jen again.
“I know you do, buddy.”
“Can I go see her?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. It might not be very soon, though.”
“So, I can’t see her today?”
“No, sweetie. Mummy has to wait for the policemen to say she can have visitors and I don’t know how long that will take.”
It wasn’t the best answer, but what else could I say? He was way too young to understand the processes involved with charging someone for a crime, and I wasn’t that well versed in it myself.
Shouldn’t James have at least covered the basics of this? I could hardly judge since he’d been blindsided by all of this too, but I assumed he’d partially explained what had happened. All Jayden seemed to know was that Jen had done something bad – I wasn’t sure he knew it was her who had put Radleigh in hospital, or if he should even be told.
Shit. I was way out of my depth. I’d dealt with kid problems with Jamie. But they were problems like how to handle falling out with friends and dealing with horrible teachers. I’d never once had to deal with a kid whose mother was in jail for stabbing his father.