Nobody Knows (Razes Hell 1)

“I’m gonna go grab the rest of the new song lyrics from my room. I’ll meet you downstairs in ten.” He fixed me with a grin. “Congratulations again, Ellie.”

When Jason left, Drew lifted me up and spun me around in a circle, before pressing me against the door. “God, I’ve missed you.”

His lips met mine in a way that somehow managed to be both sweet and romantic, and hot as hell, not giving me a chance to tell him I’d missed him, too. The awkwardness we’d had on our first date faded more with every kiss – and there had been a lot of kisses.

Drew gently stroked my cheek with his thumb. “I wish I didn’t have to leave you already.”

“Me too. But you’ve got a show to prepare for.”

“You wanna come with us? We won’t get much time alone, but… this is a big day for you, Ells. I hate to think of you sitting in your room instead of celebrating.”

I loved how much he got it. How he knew being stuck in a hotel room when I wanted to jump around screaming with joy was my idea of a nightmare. How he knew exactly how much the job meant to me, even without being the one I’d divulged my childhood dreams to.

“It’s okay.” I brushed my lips against his. “We’ll celebrate later. Your full attention should be on the band today.”

He let out a small groan. “Can’t I pretend to be ill?” His fingers pressed into my hips, drawing me closer.

I could so easily have given in. Not seeing him for a few days, the way he touched me, the way his eyes never left mine – I wanted him to stay.

But I didn’t want our first time to be a quickie up against his hotel room door.

“No.” I laughed, lacing our fingers together. “You have to go. But believe me, if I had a choice, I’d spend the whole day in here with you, instead of trying to hide what we are.”

Drew brought my hand to his lips, but a slight frown crossed his face. “You are okay with keeping this a secret, aren’t you? I mean, we agreed it was best.”

“Yeah. For now. I hate lying to everyone, but this is what’s right for us.”

“Are you worried about Jason?”

A ripple of dread shimmied across my skin. I’d anticipated that Drew wouldn’t let his issues with Jason fade easily into the background. Letting go had never been his strong point.

But I was worried. Both of the guys had witnessed every significant moment in my life, sometimes before my family, so keeping Jason in the dark about me and Drew felt unnatural and wrong.

“Yes, I’m worried. We’ve never kept secrets from him before.”

He nodded, and from the way his face clouded over, I could tell I’d cracked open the door to his insecurities again.

“I know. I…” he paused, shaking his head. “Never mind.”

“Tell me.”

“Forget it.” He stepped away, but I stood in front of him, blocking him. He had that look again. The one that told me he was done talking.

Except, he hadn’t begun.

I’d dealt with that side of him for as long as I’d known him, but things were different now. He wasn’t only shutting out a friend, he was shutting out his girlfriend and as much as I didn’t want to change him, I didn’t want any barriers between us, either.

“Drew.”

“Ells, come on. I have to go.”

Everything about his stance, from the way his shoulders stiffened to the sudden lack of warmth in his eyes told me not to push him. But if he didn’t snap out of it, the entire day would stop being about the band’s farewell to pub gigs, and become about Drew’s change in mood.

I hooked my arms around his neck, making him look at me. “You don’t have to tell me what you’re thinking but… I’m with you, Drew. Completely, one hundred percent with you. So if I am worried about Jason it doesn’t change how I feel about you. I need you to understand.”

His eyes softened a little. “I do understand, Ells. But that nagging voice in my head telling me I’m second best… I can’t just turn it off. I can’t tell you I’m not worried there’ll always be a small part of you that would rather be with him.”

“And that’s okay.” I ran my hands through his hair, curling the ends around my fingers. “Because every day, I’m going to prove you wrong.”