I shook my head. “I can’t believe you’re ask
ing me that.”
“Why not? It’s a simple question.”
“It’s a stupid question.” I walked across the room to the window and stared out into the night. The view of traffic and excited revellers made me wish I was outside with them, hiding amongst them and making the most of the last of my anonymity before I became the girl who broke the Brooks brothers.
“It bothers me, Ells. That people see me that way. That you see me that way.”
“I don’t. I saw you that way when I was a child and didn’t understand everything you had to do to keep your family together. But I grew up. We grew up.”
“What are we gonna do now?”
Tearing my gaze away from the busy streets, I turned to him. “There’s nothing we can do yet. We’ll wait until he’s calmed down and then we’ll explain everything.”
“This isn’t going to be easy. It’s not only about us, it’s about me and him and... you and him.” Drew heaved a sigh, raking his hands through his hair. “I didn’t want this. I wanted us to be about us for a while. Before it became about Jason.”
A small crack formed in my heart at his words. He looked defeated, as if Jason had won somehow. And he hadn’t. Not even close.
“It hasn’t become about him. I wish things hadn’t happened the way they did, and I’m worried about how he took it. But us? We’re still us.”
Drew shook his head. “Being with you was always going to change everything. But I wanted to be with you, nobody else involved, for as long as possible. I guess I’m selfish and I don’t want to share what we have yet.”
A surge of warmth rushed through me. He wasn’t so good at sharing his feelings, but when the words came out, he meant them.
I felt them.
I wound my arms around him, resting my head in that place on his chest where I could breathe him in.
“Nobody gets to share what we have. It’s ours, Drew. Just ours.”
Drew’s heart beat a little faster when my fingers ran along the waistband of his jeans; his lips met mine before I could draw a breath. His kiss was always soft and intense, but there was so much more behind it this time. Like he was trying to throw aside his fears, and I was trying to prove he had nothing to be afraid of.
And something bigger. Something neither of us was ready to say out loud yet.
His hands, so gentle, bunched my shirt up at the sides until his fingertips lightly touched my skin, unmoving but full of intention.
This time, I wasn’t embarrassed about the faint moan against his lips.
I reached for the bottom of his t-shirt, pushing it up, forcing us apart to tug it over his head, and we fell, side by side, onto the bed.
My breath hitched as my gaze travelled the length of his body. I’d never seen him this way before. I’d seen him shirtless, seen the look of hunger in his eyes, but never both at the same time.
My man.
I loved the broadness of his shoulders, and that he didn’t waste time waxing his chest or sculpting his body into what was supposed to pass for the ideal way for a guy to look. This was how a guy should look. The flaming drum kit tattooed on his left bicep added to the appeal; his one moment of rebellion etched onto his skin forever.
“Ells?”
A flicker of self-consciousness showed, but I wasn’t about to stop staring. Couldn’t. I hated that Lisa left him with the warped idea there was something wrong with him. Everything I saw was perfect.
“I think,” I whispered, as my lips trailed kisses across his cheek, tasting him, from the top of his neck to the curve of his shoulder, “you’re amazing.” My fingers drifted down to his soft stomach, tracing patterns on his skin. When he smiled, I couldn’t hold it in.
Didn’t want to.
“I love you.”
Drew’s arm banded around me, and he lifted me on top of him, shutting out all the space between us. The only sound was breathing; his heavy, mine shallow because he hadn’t spoken. His eyes softened, lips parted a little, but still no words came out. A second passed.