Everybody Knows (Razes Hell 2)

That was what I wrote about in my journal. The realities of being a roadie. Fans only ever see the end product – a set stage and a great show. Beforehand, there are technical issues to be ironed out, and the occasional bit of drama when a roadie can’t follow a direction, or spends more time tweeting photos of the band members when he’s supposed to be working.

Yeah, Mr Biceps turned out to be all muscle and no brain.

Another new thing I learned about that I’d never seen before was the band’s pre-show rituals. In the dressing room ten minutes before the gig started, my friends turned into completely different people as they prepared to put on a show. Once again I found myself sitting in the corner observing while Drew paced the room with his head down. Joey was bouncing up and down and loosening his wrists, and Mack was holding his guitar, running his fingers over the strings in silent practice. Jason stood in the centre of the small room taking long, deep breaths and blowing them out slowly. I wanted to ask why they seemed so nervous when they’d done this so many times before but I didn’t want to interrupt. Two minutes before they were due on stage, they all snapped out of their own head spaces and went in for a group hug.

I chuckled, and Jason turned to me. “What?”

“Sorry.” I shook my head. “That was probably the strangest thing I’ve ever seen. Where do you go when you’re all zoned out like that?”

“We’re trying to get into the right mind frame for performing. We can’t just go out there from doing everyday stuff. Well, we can, but the show is never as good when we haven’t had this time to centre ourselves and think about what’s coming up. These people have paid for a show, and we’re going to make sure we give them that.”

Another side to Jason. I’d never thought he didn’t take his music seriously, but I’d also never witnessed just how serious this was for him. The whole “getting in the zone” thing was new to me. Music meant everything to him, and his passion sparked something inside me. Something that made me want to jump on him. Immediately.

“Gotta go,” he said, although I thought I spotted a sparkle in his green eyes, as if he knew what I was thinking.

Dammit.

I gave a lame wave as they headed out and onto the stage.

I’d kept my drooling to a minimum so far, and I hated that I’d slipped up. Swoony McFangirl was not the person I wanted to portray, and I hoped it wasn’t who I was. But I was attracted to Jason, and however hard I tried to squash those feelings, they were still there. They still needed an outlet sometimes.

**

The first gig was absolutely mind blowing. Razes Hell tore the roof off the club, and the guys were buzzing when they headed backstage. I followed them through; I’d been watching them from the back of the room, where I was safer from flailing limbs and drinks being sloshed all over the place.

“Oh my God.” I stared at them as they congratulated each other on an excellent show. “This tour is going to rock!”

“Thanks, Lucy.” Mack ruffled my hair as he passed me to grab a towel. “I think you might be right!”

“Are we going back to the hotel? Because I’m way too excited to sleep yet.”

“Us too.” Jason laughed. He opened the mini fridge and took out water for everyone then handed the bottles out. “I’m up for a few drinks here.”

“Me too,” Joey added. “I need beer and women immediately.”

Drew rolled his eyes but smiled. “Okay. A few drinks. We deserve it!”

The guys took turns using the shower and changing out of their sweaty clothes then we headed out of the dressing room and into the bar while the roadies dealt with their equipment, taking it all down and loading it back into the vans.

On our way through, fans slapped the guys on the back, and I felt another buzz at being part of something so special. The fame wasn’t mine, but it was pretty cool getting a taste of it and seeing what life was like for the band.

The bar was wild and crowded, and I stayed as close as I could to the boys but it was difficult with so many bodies squished together. Every now and again one of the guys would disappear for a while, but they’d eventually find their way back. Drew was the only one who stayed really close to me, and I knew it was because he was under strict orders to keep me safe. The music was loud, as were the other patrons, but the atmosphere was incredible, and I spent more time observing the crowds than anything else.

After about an hour, I needed a breather from the heat and the close proximity to others so I slipped out of the back door and took in a long gulp of fresh air. My skin instantly prickled with goose bumps from the temperature change and I wrapped my arms around myself to warm up. Although I could still hear the pumping beats from the bar, another sound outside caught my attention and I stiffened at the sound of a girl’s giggle followed by a deep groan from a man. I recognised the flirty sound; I’d heard many of my friends doing the girly giggle when they were with a guy, and I chuckled to myself knowing I couldn’t stay where I was in case the couple noticed me and thought I was some kind of creeper. I started to turn back to the club when I heard the girl say, in a very French accent, “Where will you take me?”

“I have a hotel room. Do you want to join me?”

My heart stilled as I recognised Jason’s voice, and when I heard their footsteps, I stepped back into the club doorway so they wouldn’t see me when they passed. Oh God. What the hell had she been doing to him to make him groan like that? I sank into the darkness when their footsteps came closer, my heart sinking slowly into my stomach. Jason had his arm firmly around the tiny waist of a stunning French girl with sleek black hair and gigantic boobs. Suddenly the footsteps stopped, and this time it was the girl who let out a moan. I shuffled forwards and peered hesitantly around the corner, immediately wishing I hadn’t. Jason had pressed her firmly against the wall, his hands pinning her wrists above her head as he kissed her neck. She arched her back slightly, her red-painted lips open, and his hands slid down her arms, down her waist then up to her breast, making her moan again.

“Please. Take me to your room.”

I ducked back into the shadows feeling sick at what I’d just seen. I tried hard to ignore the stabbing sensation in my stomach; I knew the deal already. I knew him hooking up with women was something I might have to learn to handle, but seeing it happen right in front of me was a lot harder than I’d expected. Instead of turning into a weepy, girly mess, I took some deep breaths, and jolted when the club door opened, the handle digging into my back as it swung outwards.

“Oh, I am so sorry.”

Mr Biceps stepped through the door as I rubbed my back where he’d bumped me.

“It’s okay,” I told him. “I shouldn’t have been standing in the way.” I started to move past him, but he caught my arm gently.