“Lucy,” Jason murmured as I closed my eyes. He kissed me again, but his hands moved lower and disappointment filled me as he put my shirt back in place and pulled away. “Sorry.”
“What for?”
“For telling you I’ll go slow and then kissing you that way.”
“I have no problem with that kiss. Only that you stopped.”
I was practically panting, which was totally embarrassing, but he’d just called me his woman, and very soon, I was going to be separated from him for a few weeks. I didn’t want to waste a second of our time doing anything other than exactly what we wanted to do.
He smiled, and I watched his lips, waiting for the second I could kiss them again. “Lucy Hayes, you dirty little thing.”
“What? What did I do?”
Laughing, he kissed me on the cheek. “I love that you have no idea.”
I narrowed my eyes on him, but couldn’t stop the smile. Whatever it was, it was his effect on me that set it off. I felt… naughty.
“Okay,” I said, changing the subject before I said or did something else that might embarrass me. “So… we’ve decided? I’m going home?”
Jason placed another, much softer, kiss on my lips. “Yes. But as soon as we get back to the UK, I want you there. I want you in London when we land so we can do cheesy London tourist shit. The stuff we’ll have missed out on through America.”
I grinned. “Can we go The Shard?”
“I’ll take you to the top.”
“Madame Tussaud’s?”
Jason snorted. “Don’t push your luck. I’m not going in there until my own wax work is there!”
I laughed out loud. “Hey, it’ll happen. Maybe not this year though.”
“Well, until then…” Jason pulled me close to him again and kissed me one more time. “Come on, Luce. Let’s go back and tell the others how grown up we are.”
“How about we tell them to go to hell?”
Jason stared into my eyes, his own dancing with amusement. “God, I’m going to miss you.”
“Me too, Jase. Me too.”
**
With great reluctance, Jason and I left the hotel and got into the waiting car to take us back to the tour bus. Journalists were still waiting outside, but we shoved through them and clambered onto the bus where Ellie, Drew and Derek had obviously been anxiously waiting for us, judging by the way they jolted to face us as we approached. With a level of maturity I didn’t feel, I explained the decision we’d reached, and there was visible relief from everyone. I tried not to be hurt by their happiness that I was leaving – I knew it wasn’t about me being unwanted, it was about damage control, but I’d kind of hoped someone would fight our corner. Mack had been the only person to attempt to stand up for us, but he’d been shot down with glares and he never spoke up again. I appreciated his effort though – he was a no bullshit kind of guy, and I respected his “do what you want and fuck what anyone else thinks” attitude.
Plans were made for me to fly home the next evening on the same flight as Ellie – although only just. I got the last seat on the plane, and we’d get the train the rest of the way home from Bristol. I wasn’t really looking forward to that part but I figured I could fake sleep for a few hours.
The rest of the day was long and uncomfortable. I felt isolated from everyone, even Jason to a certain extent because I felt Ellie and Drew watching us anytime we were together.
Maybe it was wrong, but a huge part of me blamed Ellie for the mess. If she hadn’t made a big deal out of me and Jason in the first place, we wouldn’t have had that talk outside the tour bus, we wouldn’t have been photographed, and I’d have been looking forward to spending an incredible day in Prague with her like we’d planned. Things with Jason would have worked out differently. Slowly. Privately.
Or maybe not. Maybe we were destined to cause controversy. Looking at the ifs of the situation wouldn’t change anything.
The day of fun in Prague I was supposed to be having was spent in the tour bus. Derek had left, but he’d also left strict instructions that Jason and I shouldn’t be seen together in public. Everyone else was free to go and do as they pleased, but Ellie was on full big sister watch, and apparently didn’t trust either me or Jason to be alone together, so she and Drew stayed behind too. I’d thought dinner the night before had ended uncomfortably but this took discomfort to levels I never believed existed. We must have looked like one of those videos you see on TV showing different frames to display the passing of time. Every now and again one of us would change positions, or leave the communal area before coming back, maybe with a book, or a guitar in Jason’s case. It was how I imagine Big Brother to be before they edit out all the crap bits.
I was actually relieved when it was time to leave for the airport, but of course, the boys couldn’t come with us. Ellie and I were leaving in a cab, and I was only given five minutes alone with Jason while Ellie and Drew said their own private goodbye.
As Jason enveloped me in his arms, I let out a huge sigh. “This was the worst day ever.”
He placed a kiss on the top of my head. “I know. I’m sorry.”