Michael sighed and I knew what he was thinking. It was the same thing we were all thinking. A jou
rney that long… anything could happen in that time, and there would be no way for them to get information while they were in the air. What if they got half way and something happened to Drew? What if they were too late?
Ellie let out a small sob and Mum grabbed her before she fell to the ground. “Mum, I’m so scared.”
“I know, Ellie. I know. We all are, and if we could get there any faster, we would. But this is all we have, so you need to stay strong. You need to be strong when you get to Drew so you can help him pull through.”
As a tear slipped down my cheek, Michael gave me a weak smile. “Same goes for you, Lucy. I need you to be strong for Jason.”
I couldn’t meet his eye. “I’m not coming.”
How could he have not known that? I thought the details had been wrapped up while I was asleep. That was probably why they did it while I was sleeping; so I couldn’t demand to go along.
Michael’s eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. “Why not?”
I didn’t need to speak, I just shook my head and waited for someone else to explain. It sure as hell wasn’t my choice.
Mum began to give her reasons why they hadn’t included me, but Michael held up his hand. “I respect your opinion, and I understand why you made that decision, but I have two sons who need support, not just one. Lucy needs to be there too, Lyn. I really do appreciate your concerns, and I would feel the same in your position, but leaving Lucy behind isn’t fair. Not to her, or to Jason. Look at her.”
All eyes turned to me as tears poured down my face. I was so touched by him fighting for me, and so desperate for them to change their minds, because how the hell was I meant to handle being left behind? How was I supposed to function knowing Jason was hurting and I wasn’t there for him?
“We know it’s hard for Lucy,” Dad said. “But with all due respect, we don’t want Jason relying too heavily on her. I don’t mean that as a slight against Jason, we love him, but Lucy is way too young to have him leaning on her. It’s not fair on her.”
Michael nodded, and I knew he understood their position. The only reason he’d stopped talking was because he didn’t want to put their friendship in jeopardy. I didn’t want that either; things would never be the same without all of us in each other’s lives.
“Why don’t I get a say in this?” I asked, wiping away my tears. “I’m nineteen years old and you’re still making decisions for me. This isn’t how things used to be.” I turned to Mum. “You and Dad have always allowed Ellie and me a lot of freedom, and you’ve let us make our own decisions. Why are you stopping me now?”
“We don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I’m already hurting!” I snapped. “I’ve been hurting since the second the world found out that Jason kissed me! You’d think the world had ended with the way everyone reacted! And not a single one of you has bothered to ask me how I am because, even though I have done nothing but calmly explain, you still think I’m stupid! Throughout this whole thing I have tried so hard to make just one of you understand, but you’ve all reached your own conclusions. I even came home when I wanted to stay because I knew it was the right thing to do. In return all I’ve got is accusations and assumptions. Right now, all I want to do is get on that plane with you and see the people I care about. It’s not just about Jason, it’s about Drew, and Joey, and Ellie, and Michael. Why don’t I get to be a part of something I’ve been a part of my whole life just because I have feelings for Jason? Why can’t I be there for everyone the way I hope you’d be there for me if I was the one who needed it?”
Silence filled the room. My parents looked at each other, having a conversation with their eyes I couldn’t understand. Maybe I’d said too much. Maybe I’d had the childish tantrum they’d expected me to have when I got home, and proved to them I was too immature to handle this. But dammit, it was killing me to think of my friends suffering, knowing I couldn’t be with them.
“Okay,” Dad said quietly. “Okay.”
I shifted my eyes towards him, not daring to breathe in case he changed his mind. He caught my eye and nodded before heading back into the living room and picking up the phone.
**
What followed was the most chaotic twenty-four hours of my life. Packing, panicking, rushing into town to get some US dollars, a train journey, and countless hours in the air before we finally touched down in Houston at just after six a.m. By the time we got out of the airport it was nearing seven thirty, and after checking on Drew’s condition (no change), we headed straight for the hospital, jet-lagged and carrying our luggage because we hadn’t yet sorted out accommodation. We knew Dad was working on it back home, but all we cared about was getting to the people we loved.
Because of our unusual situation, the hospital staff were extremely accommodating, and they even stowed our luggage for us because they understood our need to just get to Drew.
We weren’t all allowed to see him, of course. Visitors were very limited, so while Ellie and Michael were taken to Drew’s room, Mum and I sat in the bleak waiting room, exhausted and terrified.
The whole time we’d travelled, we’d hardly spoken. Not just Mum and me, but any of us. We were pre-occupied with our own thoughts, and occasionally we slept but never for long. I didn’t think I’d slept for more than three hours the whole journey. My whole body ached and my eyes were sore from the tears I’d cried. I felt sick for Ellie, but I knew Michael would take care of her. I couldn’t begin to imagine how hard it would be for her to see the man she loved lying unconscious, not knowing if he’d wake up. Not knowing if she’d hear his voice or see his smile again.
I blew out a breath, running my hands through my already messed up hair. I didn’t want to cry anymore. Couldn’t cry anymore. My head throbbed – probably from dehydration and lack of sleep.
“Mum, do you want some coffee?”
She merely nodded, too wrung out with worry to speak. I picked up my bag and shuffled over to the coffee machine, fumbling around with coins until I found what I needed to get two strong coffees. As I turned to rejoin my mum, I stumbled slightly, my breath catching in my throat. Jason stood in the doorway that led to the ICU, his tired eyes focused on me. He’d obviously been at Drew’s bedside all night, and everything about him looked defeated. Small cuts marred his face and neck, and there was a huge, ugly yellow bruise on his left arm. His right arm was also peppered with cuts, and I had no doubt there were more marks under his clothes. I wanted to go to him, but my feet had somehow planted themselves to the spot.
“Luce,” he whispered.
The sound of his voice, the husky, almost desperate tone made my body start to shake with how much I’d missed him, and how much I needed to hold him in my arms. My trembling hands set the coffees back down on the coffee machine as Jason slowly walked towards me. For a moment, he just stared at me, his eyes sparkling with unshed tears. Slowly, I reached out my hand, and he took it, then stepped in close to me and threw his arms around me, his fingers digging into my back as he clung to me. I latched onto him just as hard, breathing him in, feeling his heartbeat against my chest and thanking God it was still beating when the crash could have taken him from me. For the longest time we did nothing but cling to each other, holding tight, no need for words. Everything we needed to say was in the way we held each other. After a while, Jason’s grip loosened on me, and he kissed the top of my head before stepping back a little. He didn’t let go of me, though. His hands rested on my hips, and mine on his waist.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” he said. “I thought… I thought you weren’t coming.”