Come Back To What You Know

"I'm all for it, buddy, but her heart belongs to another."

The dramatic tone of Luca's words made me laugh, and I lifted my head. "Shut up."

When he smiled at me, it was clear there were no hard feelings, and my embarrassment faded a smidge. He really was stunningly attractive, but like he said, my heart had already found its home. A twinge of missing Brayden almost made me jolt in my seat, but I managed to keep still, in spite of the way the need to talk to him began to trickle through my bloodstream.

Chapter 9

Charley

What the hell is that?

It was just past eight a.m, and my body jerked awake as if I'd

had a nightmare. Brayden was instantly on my mind, just as he often was when I awoke, but this? This felt different. I felt awkward in my own skin, and I had to take a few deep breaths before I could do anything else.

Sometimes, I could be doing something totally mundane, and then, out of nowhere, I'd feel him. Like a wave of feelings for him would crash right over my mind and body, as if he were calling out to me. Maybe he was thinking of me too. Whatever it was, it was strong, and for a moment, I was drowning in my feelings for him, helpless to stop them. Paralysed by the depths of emotion, desperate to be with him, to hear him, to connect, and then... it would fade, like the tide creeping back out across the sand. My body would relax, and normality would be restored. Other times, I couldn't shake it. I'd sit with discomfort, not knowing what to do, but all the while wanting to throw all of my thoughts at him, because in those moments, I wanted nothing more than for him to know how much he meant to me. How much I missed him. How much I...

Implausible as it was, had I fallen in love with him? Or was I just missing him because we hadn't spoken for a few days?

The tears prickling the backs of my eyes told me what I knew but was too afraid to admit. He'd think I was insane. Completely whacked out if I said those words out loud.

The truth was, I was finding it harder and harder to be away from him. Physically, we had no choice. But if more than two days passed and we hadn't had any contact... it was like missing a limb. A vital part of my life vanished, and a knot settled in my stomach because I missed him. I was secure in what we had. Or were probably going to have eventually. But God, yes, I missed him.

Instinctively, I reached for my phone, and I was surprised but not completely shocked to see a message from Brayden.

Brayden: Hey, Charley. Are you up?

I blinked a few times to eliminate the sleep from my eyes.

Me: Hey! Haven't seen you around online for a few days! You okay?

Brayden: Yeah. I'm good.

There was a weird pause. And just as I had felt his presence, like he was around me, or wanted to talk to me, something shifted and a sense of fear came over me.

You. Are. Not. Psychic. Keep talking to him.

Me: What's been going on?

I kept seeing the symbol that he was typing, but it kept stopping and starting, like he was deleting his words and re-typing them. The knot in my stomach grew tighter with every passing minute, and I took a long gulp from the bottle of water beside my bed, trying to settle the unease.

Brayden: I met someone.

Just like that, the feeling of nausea intensified, and a shiver rippled down my spine. I stared at the words, hoping maybe I'd misread them. Because... why would he have met someone? Right now. Right when I was just a few months from going home. He'd done nothing but tell me how happy he was that I'd be home in time for Christmas, and that we'd spend some of it together. And now? There was someone else?

Brayden: Charley? Are you still there?

I needed another moment, but eventually, I moved my shaking hands over the keyboard.

Me: I'm here.

Brayden: Please say something.

Me: I don't really know what to say.

Brayden: Charley, I know we waited all this time and I do still really want to see you, but I met Rachel and I just... I like her a lot.

Ouch. The sting of tears in my eyes made me blink. I didn't want them to fall. What right did I have to cry? I had no claim over him, not really. Just because we'd made plans to meet up when I got home, didn't mean he was mine. He was free to see who he wanted, just as I was. That was why we’d decided not to promise each other anything, after all.