Wiping the tears from my cheeks, I pulled myself out of bed, eager for a large mug of coffee. I'd take it back to my room and hide under the covers for the rest of the day. Or at least, that was the plan until I saw Evelyn sitting on the sofa in her PJs, holding her own cup of coffee. She turned around as she heard my footsteps, took one look at my face and said, "What's wrong?"
It was way too soon after Brayden's revelation to even attempt to put on a brave face. "I... Brayden... he's met someone."
Evelyn's eyes widened and she must have seen the pain ripping through my body because she quickly put her drink to the table and rushed towards me, leading my sobbing form to the sofa.
"I don't understand," she said. "What... How?"
I managed to tell her as much as I knew, because I sure as hell hadn't wanted the details. When? Where? None of it mattered. What mattered was that he'd given up on us before we'd had a chance to try.
"He asked me to come home," I said, after I'd finished explaining. "And I was going to go. I was going to pack up and go home because I thought we could make it happen this time. I'm an idiot."
The tears dripped down my cheeks, and Evelyn grabbed me and hugged me tight, trying to hold together the pieces of me that were slowly falling apart.
"He's an idiot," she said. "How the hell could he do this to you? Fuck. He's been messaging and calling you all year, and now... now he's met someone else? I hope you told him he's a total dick."
My heart sank farther in my chest. And that was the dumbest part of all. A normal person would have told him that. A normal person would have bitched him out for making him fall for them and then taking away the safety net at the last second.
"He made me think I matter, Ev. He made me think I was important."
"You are important, honey."
"Not to him. Not now."
"Charley, you... you're going to be the biggest regret of his life. The best thing he never had."
"I'm nothing, Evelyn. This whole year he made me think I meant something to him, and... he knew. He knew I was coming home and then..." I shook my head, my heart aching because... this new girl. She must really have been something special if she managed to get his attention so easily. Me? I'd been fighting for almost twelve full months for just a chance to see him. She swooped in out of nowhere, and just like that, he didn't care if he ever saw me again. All the plans and promises we made had gone up in smoke, floating away ab
ove the clouds, never to be seen again.
"Please don't say that." Evelyn stroked my hair as I cried on her shoulder. "You're not nothing."
"I must be. I wasn't worth just a couple more months' wait." Blinking, I wiped at my eyes. "God, I wish I'd never started talking to him again when I got here. This is my own fault. I shouldn't have hung so much hope on this. On him."
"Don't." Evelyn pushed me back slightly so she could look into my watery eyes. "Don't do that to yourself. It's not fair. He was a part of this. He was the one who asked you to go home. Told you how much he wanted to see you, take you out. He told you how much he wanted to be with you, right?"
All I could do was nod, as the painful reminder of his words stabbed at me like a thousand knives puncturing my heart. He had said those things. He'd sounded genuine. And I couldn't bring myself to believe he wasn't at the time. But now? If he could give all those promises up so easily? I can't have been worth a whole lot.
"There is one good thing to come out of this," Evelyn said, with a small grin. I furrowed my brow. "You didn't refuse the offer to stay here. That means, if you wanted to, you could stay for another year."
Funny. I'd already started to dread the idea of going home. Yes, my family were there, and I had good friends in the UK too, but... Brayden had been the reason for around ninety percent of my desperation to leave Chicago. Now? I didn't know. And I didn't care in that moment. All I wanted to do was cry my heart out for the man I'd been willing to give everything to.
Chapter 10
Charley
The day Brayden told me he was seeing someone else honestly felt like the longest day of my life. Evelyn tried all she could to make me feel better, but... for me, it wasn't just about losing the chance to date a guy. Brayden was never "just a guy" to me. I felt, right in the depths of my soul, that he and I were supposed to be together. And I'd honestly thought he felt it too. That strange tug I always felt right before he messaged me... that odd feeling I got when something wasn't quite right with him. I'd never had that before. Never even heard of anyone sharing that level of connection with someone. Caring so much about someone I’d only met once still made me feel like a loser, though. Made me internally berate myself for being so idiotic as to believe that kind of connection was real.
What was worse though, was knowing that, as much as he'd try to stay in touch with me, I wasn't sure I could handle it. How was I meant to just be buddies with him when I'd wanted so much more? How was I supposed to "like" his social media posts when he inevitably started posting photos of the two of them together? Just the thought made my insides shrivel up.
But worse than all of those things were the unspoken words still left in my heart. I'd wanted to wait. I'd wanted to be able to look into his eyes to tell him how much I felt for him. How much it had hurt to be so far from him when all I wanted was a chance to be held by him, to feel his lips and his body against mine. My heart was weighed down with it all and I couldn't tell him any of it, not now. He'd pity me for being so pathetic.
I knew there was no hope of sleep for me that night. Not with so many thoughts rushing around my head. It was midnight when I pulled out a pen and a notepad and started to write.
Brayden,
This is all going to come out as a big mess because, honestly, my head is all over the place. Has been since we first started talking, really. I know this will all sound crazy because, when you take it right back, all we ever were was friends. I'm not screwed up enough not to realise the true reality, but my reality? It's a little different. I think I fell for you the second I saw your face. Becky said you felt it too, but she's my friend. Maybe she was just so excited about the possibility of playing Cupid that she overplayed the situation. Maybe you were never as into me as I was into you.
But then... that doesn't ring true either. Not from the things you said, and the things you promised. Today, I've gone over every conversation we ever had. Tried to find some sign that you're nothing but a liar. Or maybe just a people pleaser. Words on a screen, they can fool people. They often do. The words you said to me when we saw each other, and when we spoke on the phone, though... they felt real.