Into the Darkness

laughed, knowing how fucked up this all was. I was glad there was no longer awkward tension between us. Adriana sure knew how to pick ‘em. But anyway, it was time to take care of another problem.

“I’ll be back,” I said. “I just need to use the restroom.”

I quickly walked through the crowd, stopping occasionally to greet people I knew. Once I was in the restroom, I shut the door behind me, unzipped my pants and pulled my cock out. It was throbbing. With every stroke came pleasure. I closed my eyes, remembering her standing in front of me, her chest exposed slightly in her dress. Her tanned skin itching to be kissed, the trail leading to her full breasts. I tried to remember what her nipples looked like, how they felt in my mouth. The squeal she would make when I tugged on them with my teeth. Instantly I blew all over my hand. It wasn’t taking me long these days. Fuck. I grabbed some tissues and wiped my hand, then threw them down the toilet and flushed. I gave myself a moment to calm down before I zipped up my pants and headed out of the stall to wash my hands. Just as I stood there at the basin, Julian walked in. Stellar!

“So did you enjoy your dance with Charlie? Just like old times, hey?” OK, what game was this fucker playing?

“Just like old times. But hey, you heard her, we were just high school kids back then,” I answered, playing dumb.

“But you weren’t in high school. If I remember correctly from my research, you graduated in 2000. So when you and Charlie dated you were like, what, twenty-three? And she was eighteen?”

“What’s your point?”

“And you were married at the time. See, Lex, this is the thing. We always want what we can’t have.”

“I had her. What the fuck are you trying to say?” He wanted to play dirty, but he was messing with the wrong guy, that motherfucker.

“Exactly. You had her but you couldn’t keep her.” He checked his face in the mirror and adjusted his tie at the same time. “Just remember who she’s with now and whose bed she’ll be in tonight.” Then he walked out.

FUCK YOU! I wanted to yell. She didn’t deserve that jerk, but she didn’t deserve me either. If anything I was an even bigger jerk for letting her go in the first place. I stood there staring at myself in the mirror. I didn’t know who I had become anymore. I knew the only way I could deal with what happened was to control what I did from that moment. It worked out well on the business side of things, but I was alone. No one could get close to me; I knew I put up a wall. My family gave up a long time ago trying to get me to loosen up and have fun. But here she was, standing in front of me, loving someone else. She was the missing piece to all this. I wasn’t stupid. I knew I wanted her again but I had to learn to control my anger around her. I couldn’t go back to being the Alex she once knew, and that was the problem here. I knew she felt like she didn’t know me anymore. Did I?

As I walked back to the ballroom, I mentally prepared myself for seeing them together again. I needed a different approach. I spotted her immediately on the dance floor in his arms again. Control this, Lex. I walked to my table and leaned into Brooke’s ear. “Time to call in a favor?”

She laughed as she grabbed my hand and followed me to the dance floor. I found a spot not too far from them and wrapped my arms around Brooke.

Charlotte was staring at me, a look of mixed emotions. She couldn’t take her eyes off me so I leaned in to kiss Brooke on the neck. Closing my eyes, pretending to inhale her scent, my eyes slowly looking up to watch for Charlotte’s reaction. Tormented, Charlotte let go of Julian and walked quickly towards the exit. I excused myself, assuming she was running out of the ballroom. I spotted her walking down the hall, then caught up with her and grabbed her hand. I looked around quickly: there was no one in sight. I pulled her into the empty ballroom.

I started pacing up and down. I wanted her, all of her. I never had someone not want me, but here she was, acting like we were nothing, that what we had was just a fling. I felt my anger bubbling to the surface. Was she in love with this guy? I had to ask. She kept quiet. So she did love him! I couldn’t help what I word-vomited next. “I see the way you look at him. It was the way you used to look at me.”

“Used to Ale…Lex. You walked away, not me,” she stammered.

“I had no choice! I looked for you. I didn’t give up on us!” I yelled.

Her expression changed almost immediately. She looked pained, like it hurt too much to talk about it. “The moment you chose her, you gave up on us.”

She was quick to bring up Samantha again. I was literally out of my mind. I grabbed her face, crushing my lips against hers. The taste of her soft lips melted onto mine. I wanted more. I needed to taste every part of her. Our tongues feverishly battled each other as I pinned her against the door. She didn’t push me away, so I took advantage by cupping her face. I couldn’t get enough of her sweet taste. She was always an amazing kisser but what knocked me for six was this swirl thing she did with her tongue that she would do when she used to give me head. Well, FUCK ME senseless, she had to have known she was doing it. It didn’t last long though. I felt her resistance so I trapped her arms, buying time. I pressed my cock against her thigh at the same time my hand trailed her cheekbone and slid down her neck, finding itself flat against the middle of her exposed chest. Just one move to the left or right and I would have her in my hands. Her fucking perfect tits were calling out to me but it was almost like she could read my mind as she found her strength and pushed me away, both of us struggling to catch our breath. Her face was flushed and I couldn’t help but notice her nipples were hard. Fuck.

“Lex, we can’t. Please, you don’t understand… I can’t go down this path again.”

No matter how many times I said it, it didn’t erase what happened. I apologized, telling her how much I regretted my actions. She had to see that none of it was supposed to happen. She was meant to be my girl, my wife all along.

“Lex, I’ve moved on. It took me a long time to finally accept my destiny. If you care for me at all, even as a friend, please just leave me alone.” Her eyes never left mine as she said those words. She walked away, stopping to touch her lips as she left me standing there alone.

I ran my fingers through my hair. This was not like me. What the fuck was happening? Maybe I just needed to get her out of my system. Just one last time, one fuck. Maybe it wasn’t about love anymore. Maybe it was a primal curiosity. But her last words stabbed me: if I cared, leave her alone.

I walked out of the ballroom, running into my sister. “Lex, there you are! We need to talk.”

“Not now, Adriana.” I continued to walk away. I needed to think about tonight, whether or not I would choose to respect her wishes.

“It’s about Charlie.”

With that, she caught my attention. “What’s wrong?”

“All that stuff Charlie’s mom said was a lie. There was nobody else. Maria just said that so you wouldn’t look for her.” Adriana’s face looked full of regret. She had accompanied me on that fateful trip to Cuba. She knew what I had gone through and the reason behind my decision at the time.

“I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought she deserved to be happy, even if it was with someone else.” My voice was low. I felt so vulnerable. It had been a long time since I felt any emotions and in one night she had brought them all back.

“I know, Lex. But it’s done and now she’s here. What are you going to do about it?”