Into the Darkness

“So you’re telling me it’s okay to make these promises, place rings on each other’s fingers, make vows before God, your family and friends, only to walk away when something better comes along?”

Sitting so close to her, I couldn’t help but feel this overwhelming need to touch her, to hold her in my arms. Her honesty and compassion astounded me. She wore her heart on her sleeve and I wanted nothing more than to place it in my hands and promise to cherish it for the rest of my life. With her big brown eyes staring back at me, my heart began racing, not because I was afraid but because it felt right, and that was terrifying. She instilled honesty in me and I had no choice but to express how I felt – how she made me feel.

“Not something better, Charlotte. Something right. And yes, I would walk away, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Chapter 11

Charlie

April 2005

“Charlie, do you want to talk about it?”

What was there to talk about? I hadn’t slept. My mom decided to take off again leaving my dad to worry relentlessly about her. How could I understand? I hadn’t been in love before nor had I been married. My opinion didn’t matter even though my life had been turned upside down.

“Not tonight, Adriana.”

I examined my eyes in the mirror. The dark circles were impossible to hide.

“So listen, since you look like sex on legs, we need to discuss some sort of signal in case you want to get some nookie nookie.”

“Adriana, did you just say nookie nookie?”

“You know Logan will be here,” she teased.

Here we go again. If I had a dollar for every time this topic was brought up I could buy, well, a new pair of converse. Logan and I had a fling last year; it resulted in us losing our virginity down at the beach. It wasn’t the best place to lose it, mainly because there was sand everywhere. So I was in no rush to try again after what could only go down as the worst first time in history. We tried again a month after in his bed and unfortunately it was no better than before. There was no sand but also no spark, plus it was awkward, he was huge and I was small, so it just kind of hurt.

I wasn’t sure what the big deal was. I was fully capable of helping myself. Adriana would tell me how wonderful it was to be in love. I was yet to discover that feeling.

“Honestly, he is a great guy, you know it. Stop trying to play matchmaker! If anyone needs the signal it will be you.”

The doorbell rang and I had never seen Adriana run so fast. She could have qualified for the Olympics at the rate she was going. I opened the bedroom door to hear muffled voices. It was Elijah. I had learned my lesson: give them five minutes before entering the room. I checked my cell and saw a message from Logan.

Charlie, I’m bringing the guys. Be there in fifteen.

I quickly responded knowing Adriana would be ecstatic. In her eyes, the more the merrier. I thought of the aftermath, the cleaning tomorrow morning. Her parents only agreed to this if the house was back to its original condition by ten o’clock the next morning. I didn’t know how Adriana expected to pull it off.

The doorbell went off again and this time I decided to head downstairs. They must have finished their make-out session by now.

“Adriana! Logan said the guys are coming too,” I yelled as I walked down the stairs. I was surprised to be greeted by Alex and Sam in the kitchen.

Everything that I felt in the past week had slapped me in the face. They were here, as a married couple. That’s right, married, I had to keep reminding myself. Suddenly our flirty texts seemed foolish and adolescent. What was I thinking? I had no right lusting after a married guy. But something felt different, like it was more than just a crush. He acted different. I couldn’t explain it but I knew I had no choice but to snap out of it. I briefly looked at him; Samantha was sitting on his lap. His expression was uncomfortable, my insides crushed as I took in the image.

“Charlotte, nice to see you again. This is my wife, Samantha,” he introduced her as I awkwardly stood there not knowing what to say. She was stunning. Adriana’s description did not do her justice, neither did the photos at their house. I reached out my hand to shake hers but instead she jumped off his lap and pulled me into a hug.

“Finally, I get to meet you! Adriana talks nonstop about you. It’ll be good to have another friend in this boring, miserable place,” she squealed.

I looked at Alex, unsure of what to say. His face was just as confused as mine. “Oh, wow. Nice meeting you too, Samantha.”

She slowly pulled away, her smile sincere. Thankfully the doorbell rang so I excused myself to mingle with some of the guests. As soon as I was out of the kitchen, I took a moment to gather my thoughts. That was awkward and I felt like shit now, not wanting to admit it hurt me seeing her like that with him. Maybe I did need some nookie nookie tonight, just to get over this.

The house was filling up and I started recognizing a lot of people from school. I did my best-friend duty and greeted the guests. Most were already into the punch which I assumed had been spiked, and the speakers were blaring the latest Chris Brown song. I had been humming along to the beat when I felt a pair of bulky arms wrap themselves around my waist.

“Logan!” I turned around as he hugged me tight, lifting me up. I missed him. He was one of my best friends despite our awkward history. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and behind him I noticed Alex standing with Elijah. Alex looked at me strangely, almost angry. Why on Earth would he be angry that I was hugging one of my best friends? Logan put me down, the grin on his face contagious.

“Charlie, I’ve missed you. You never visit me anymore,” he complained.

“I know, I know. I’ve missed you too, Logan. Come on, let’s get a drink.”