Into the Darkness

I didn’t want her to know I was in New York even though in twenty minutes she would soon find out. As the cab drove through the streets I gazed out the window. I couldn’t even count the amount of times I had been to New York in the past seven years and to think all along she was here. After Bryce told me about her house in Connecticut, it didn’t make sense. But then she said she stayed with her grandmother so I’m assuming she inherited it. Life had changed for both of us. Who would have thought seven years ago we would both wind up here? I was still coming to terms with the fact she went to Harvard and had her own practice. I was proud of everything she had accomplished but of course I couldn’t tell her that; she never wanted to talk about anything. The rare moments when she would open up I would soak up everything she gave me but then she would realize what she had done and put up that wall again.

I paid the driver and climbed out. My email kept pinging; I knew I had to deal with the aftermath of not attending that meeting. As I walked into the lobby, I went straight to the elevators. I checked to see if she had replied to my email and there it was, received two minutes ago. I read her words, my blood boiling as they sunk in. I knew jealousy and rage was what got me here in the first place but I wanted nothing more than to rip him into pieces and purge him from her mind and heart. She was my fucking girl! And I was the fucking idiot who listened to everyone else instead of my instincts.

I rode the elevator up to her floor. I could see the glass doors with the Mason & Romano written on them. As I walked that way, Eric was shutting the door behind him.

He looked at me in shock. “Lex! What ar

e you doing here?”

“Is Charlotte here?” My tone was stiff. I needed this over and done with as soon as possible.

“She’s still in her office. And she’s alone.” He let me in, then smiled before closing the door behind me.

There was a faint light coming from the double doors where Eric had pointed to. With every step I took the anger swirled inside me, my hands automatically curled into fists itching to swing out and punch the wall after what she said. I saw her standing in front of the floor-to-ceiling window. She stood there quietly, lost in thought. Was she thinking about me, I wondered? Her expression looked pained, my anger suddenly turning to compassion. I needed her more than I ever needed anyone in my life. Seconds passed as I stood there watching her, the expressions she made, the breaths she took. It was now or never.

“Are we done, Charlotte?”

Chapter 17

Charlie

* * *

From: Charlotte Mason

Subject: Done

Sent: September 25, 2012 6:57 PM

To: Lex Edwards

Lex,

Stop treating me like I am yours! Do you think it was fair that I had to share you with Samantha?

Do you think it was fair that I had to find out through the town whore that the one person who had my heart and soul knocked up his wife when he promised me he was no longer fucking her?

You have no idea what it feels like to be abandoned by the only person who you trusted your life with, the only person who was your entire world, then to not even be given the chance to say goodbye. Yes, I love Julian, and yes, I will continue to see him. Maybe now you will understand what it’s like. What happened the other night was a mistake. Huge mistake. It’s over, Lex. We’re so over.

Charlotte Mason

* * *

I sent the email, my heart beating furiously in my chest. I was angry at him but more so at myself. I shouldn’t have let this happen. Did I really think that having a make-out session would erase the past or give me closure? The scars were still ingrained in me, no matter how much I tried I couldn’t escape or erase them. The only thing I could do now is move forward again, find that strength that made me the person I was. I stood at my window, the darkness setting in. So I made a mistake, a big one. I sighed out loud; this feeling of hurt, there was no point denying it. I knew I made the right decision by telling him to leave me alone, but…I needed closure, right? Fuck, Charlie, honestly. What the hell is wrong with you?

“Are we done, Charlotte?”

I heard the voice behind me, just an illusion. Then I turned around and at the doorway of my office…stood Lex.

“Tell me that we are done.”

He walked over to where I was standing. Reaching out he ran his finger along my collarbone, my body tensing at his touch. “Lex, what are you doing here?”

“Well, you said you weren’t mine. I don’t take these things lying down, or maybe I should. It’s obvious you are forgetting who you belong to, who you’ve always belonged to.”

His eyes were blazing, the tone of his voice dominant yet calm. That kind of calm that terrified me because I knew it only meant one thing. He pushed my hair behind my shoulder and started kissing my neckline, inhaling my skin. The walls started caving, the touch of his lips on my skin breaking them down piece by piece.

“I had to come back, to remind you.”