Into the Darkness

“You easily play make-up with Adriana and Samantha but with me, you shut me down every time I try to apologize.”

“Please leave. This is my place of business. I don't bring my personal life to work.”

He stood before me with flared eyes and unruly hair; his body language was enough for me to realize he was deadly serious. His eyes darted to the magazines on my desk.

“Answer me!”

“I have nothing to say to you!”

He stood still, his eyes never leaving mine. I could see the pain he was in but that didn’t erase the pain that seeped into every part of me like poison.

He turned his back and left my office without saying another word.

I couldn’t cry, I was done shedding tears. Instead I sat there numb, unable to cope with the burst of anger that I bestowed upon him. He deserved it. That was nothing compared to what I went through. He hadn’t won. I was still standing there. I was the one wearing the ring. I was going to become Mrs Baker.

Chapter 20

Lex

May 2005

Last night I had a dream, the kind of dream that when you wake up, you close your eyes and try to fall back into that blissful sleep praying that somehow the dream will continue. She was beside me, wearing nothing but a sheet around her naked body. Her head rested on my shoulders as we sat for what felt like hours. My hands were positioned above the piano keys, but they were still. Faintly, I could hear a piano playing in the background. It was beautiful, and as much as I tried to move my hands to mirror the playing, they remained frozen.

I realized when I woke up the next morning that it was my subconscious telling me to play again. Between work and studying, I never had time to sit and play anymore so here I was in my parents’ living room attempting to play the piano again.

As I found the right keys, my fingers moved to the rhythm in my head. I sensed that I was being watched so I stopped, surprised to see Charlotte at the door.

“Please don’t stop, Alex,” she whispered.

I motioned for her to sit down next to me on the piano stool. She reluctantly did so but with a space between us. I ached for her to lean her head on my shoulder just like in my dream but with Adriana home, I forced myself to ignore every voice that screamed in my head to reach out and touch her.

“I didn’t know you played. Actually I wasn’t sure why your parents had a piano at all, because Adriana doesn’t have a musical bone in her body.”

“I used to play,” I said. “It’s been a while.”

“Will you play that song for me again? I love that song.”

“You knew what song it was?” I asked, surprised.

“It’s one of my favorites.”

I started to play the notes again. Closing my eyes I couldn’t help but sing along, remembering each line of the song and because she was right beside me, I wanted to sing the words to her that I couldn’t say out loud.

As the female part of the song came on, I was surprised as Charlotte began to sing. Her voice was amazing, so angelic and so perfectly fitting for the song.

I continued on, belting out Michael Jackson’s part until we were both in harmony and singing the entire song to each other.

As the song ended I tried my best not to look her way, but it was impossible. She was beautiful and I wanted nothing more than to stare at her face. I turned to look at her. Almost shyly, she continued to stare at the keys. Her cheeks were flushed and I wanted to place the palm of my hand on her face and feel the heat of her skin knowing she was feeling it because of me. It was so risky and I knew at any moment someone could walk in.

“Alex, your voice is amazing, and you play the piano… Why did you choose to study medicine?”

“I play guitar too,” I answered sarcastically.

“Anything else, Mr. Musical Prodigy?”

“Does the triangle count?” I joked. “No, but I always wanted a drum kit. Mom and Dad refused, saying drums lead to rock ‘n roll which leads to drug addiction. Anyway, Charlotte, look who’s talking. Your voice shits all over Whitney Houston.”

“Maybe we should run off together, become a dynamic singing duo like Sonny and Cher.” She laughed.