Into the Darkness

“Why the fuck did you get on the bike?” I yelled.

“Charlotte, please. I’m—”

“No, Lex,” I interrupted. “I’m done! I’m so tired. I cannot play this game anymore. It’s too tiring. Things with Jul...”

“What are you going to say about Julian? Is that what it’s come down to now? You can’t handle us so you pick Julian?”

“Lex, we’re too complicated.”

“And so because it isn’t with him you think that’s love?”

“I never said that.”

“Well, Charlotte. I. Fucking. Love. You. I’ve always loved you. You know, you have hurt me too and here I am trying to fight for us even though you keep pushing me away. You tell me it’s between me and him, well here I am. Say it once and for all to my face and I swear if you choose him, I will walk away. You’ll never have to see me ever again.”

I stood there silently. I wasn’t one to cry but I couldn’t stop the tears that fell down my cheeks. He pulled me in tight and I knew in that embrace I couldn’t let him walk away because if he did, I would blame myself for the rest of my life. “Lex, I’m so scared of losing you again.”

“Charlotte…look at me…please.” He cupped my chin and lifted my head. I stared into his eyes. They shone so bright, capturing me, taking me to that special place that was once held and would hold for me again. “You won’t. I won’t let that happen to us.” He leaned in to kiss the tears off my cheek. I don’t know how long we stood there for, but I couldn’t let go, I didn’t want to let go. He pulled me to the beach and we sat there in the sand, his arms around me.

“Lex, did you ever think about leaving her…for me?”

“All the damn time. I would replay the conversation in my head, have it all planned out. I was reaching my breaking point. I knew how many lives it would affect but I didn’t care. The day I had planned to tell her, she dropped the bombshell. I couldn’t believe how much I hated her at that moment. My parents and Adriana were so happy. When she went to hospital because she was in pain. After the stories my mother told me about losing a baby, I knew that if anything was to happen, it would be all my fault.”

I froze, unable to comprehend what he said. With every fiber in my being I attempted to change the subject. I was weak, I knew that. Life was cruel, I learned that the hard way, but opening up that dark cruel world was no way to start anew.

“I felt so pressured, Charlotte. No control over my life whatsoever.” He held me tighter. “I might be a control freak now but the decisions I make are all mine, I have no one to answer to but myself. I thought that was how I wanted to live but without you, there is no life. You need to know that all I want is you.”

Tilting my head to the side, I kissed his beautiful lips. Could I have him forever? Could this finally be it for us, the happily ever after we both were so desperate for? I knew I held the cards, this was ultimately my decision. I needed to place all my trust in him.

“Marry me, Charlotte.”

Stunned, I looked at him, his face deadly serious and maybe my clouded head was imagining things. He couldn’t have just asked me to marry him. Could he? “Lex um…what did you just say?”

“I said marry me, Charlotte. Tonight, here, now.”

“But…we can’t just get married…are you crazy?”

“I’ve never been this sane in my life,” he answered calmly.

“It’s not even possible. I mean, even if we wanted to.”

“Nothing is impossible.” He threw me the helmet and motioned for me to put it on. Jumping on the bike he started the engine. He took out his cell and typed something really fast. I had no idea what he was doing; it wasn’t like we were in Vegas!

We drove to town as I clutched onto him in a slight panic. Suddenly he stopped in front of a building. He jumped off and told me to wait by the bike. As I waited, I could feel the panic rising and the uncertainty of the situation making me start to sweat…a lot.

Trust him, Charlie. Go ahead and trust him. The voices in my head rang.

He walked down the path and knocked on the door of the fancy house. A man answered in his robe, taken aback by Lex standing on his porch. He talked and I couldn’t make out a single word. The man held his hand up almost like he was refusing to hear something until they both stopped and the man closed the door. Lex continued to wait on the porch, turning around to smile back at me, almost like the smile was saying a thousand words which I needed to hear right now to ease the trepidation. The door opened again and the man pointed to something out back. He closed the door again and Lex came running to where I stood.

“Now will you tell me what’s going on?” I asked.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me back towards the house except we turned the corner, following the rose bushes till we found ourselves standing in the backyard, a few feet away from a gazebo where the man stood and an older lady stood beside him.

“Charlotte, marry me, here, now.”

“Lex, come on. You are joking, right?”