Roomie Wars Box Set

“Zoey,” Drew snaps, turning around as I push him. “What the hell is wrong with you? There’s an old lady in front of me.”

I hold onto Drew’s back, forcing him to move quicker. “Hurry up!”

The old lady has a walking stick and latches onto an older man. Sure, I feel pathetic, but the thought of having to talk to Jess again makes it all the worse. There is nothing worse than running into your ex, especially at a wedding when the primary focus is love.

I’ve given up on the lady and dragged Drew in the opposite direction escaping down the side of the church.

“What’s going on?” he questions while attempting to hold me back.

“I need to pee. Really bad.”

Outside, the crowds are congratulating the newly wedded couple. There’s time to do that later. I convince Drew to take me home, which luckily, is only a couple of blocks away.

The whole way home, I make up a lie about busting to use the restroom because I drank too much water before the mass. Drew doesn’t ask any questions and retreats to his room once we arrive back home. The reception isn’t for another three hours, so I head over to Gigi’s apartment for some much-needed advice and abandoning Drew because I know how he feels about Jess. He made that abundantly clear when we broke up.

“Right, you said it was an emergency?”

Gigi pulls herself out of her tangled pose. With her yoga mat positioned in the center of the room, Patti and Gloria are sprawled out on the couch watching her intently. Diana is hiding underneath the television unit, eyes glaring at me. Stupid cat, such a fucking diva.

In the background, the music is playing the Pointer Sisters, and Gigi is dressed in her one-piece hot-pink spandex.

Oh, now that’s a camel toe if ever I’ve seen one.

“It is an emergency. It was Jess! The guy who screwed me over even though I was madly in love with him. The same guy who said we would have a family and live in a big fancy house by the beach. Promised me the world,” I exaggerate.

“But he lived in a shack, right?”

“What?” I ask, sidetracked. “Point is, he was my prince. Yeah, he rode in on a motorcycle instead of a horse and didn’t have a dollar to his name, plus he smoked weed and spent all his wages on booze, but I loved him.”

“I understand, doll. Although all my exes are resting with the Lord Himself, I can’t say I’ve been in your position. However, creating a relaxed and calm environment with no animosity within each other’s space will alleviate the stress you’re experiencing right now.”

What the hell does that even mean?

I stare back at Gigi, confused by her advice. “What about that guy you dated… the one who looked like he could have been your son?”

“Oh, doll. That’s not an ex. That was a fling. What your generation calls ‘friends with benefits.’”

“Gigi, friends with benefits is a friend you have sex with but with the understanding that there is no romantic attachment, and you’re free to see other people.”

“Oh.” She sighs. “Well, he made me feel young and showed me a thing or two. That’s it.”

I shake my head, completely lost. “Uh huh. Okay, so what do I do?”

“You act like the mature one. You’ve moved on, and don’t let him think he has any effect on you. Don’t look back, only forward, doll. Bad seeds like Jess have a tormented aura surrounding them. It’s difficult for them to be at peace with themselves without harming others.”

“Or…” I say with eagerness, “… I get Drew to pretend we’re dating. That’ll really stir Jess up. He hated Drew.”

Gigi immediately frowns at my idea. “Do you think that’s a wise idea? And what if Drew won’t do that?”

It’s the best idea I’ve had in a very long time. I may have gained a few pounds since we broke up, but the black satin dress I plan to wear to the reception will be the weapon I need. Hot, sexy, and will show him exactly what he’s been missing all this time.

“Trust me… I’ll get him to do that.”

***

“What? No way. Zoey have you lost your mind?”

“C’mon, it’s just one night,” I beg.