“It doesn’t feel like it. You’re angry with me. Your eyes keep doing that whirly thing like a cyclone about to hit.”
“What do you expect?” I try not to lash out, keeping my tone low. “What about rent?”
I don’t care about rent. I have nothing to say except that I don’t want her to leave and all for my own selfish reasons.
“I’ve already paid my share for three months. I figured that should cover you until you find a new roommate.”
“And what about all your stuff? And your family?”
What about me? That’s what I want to say.
“I’m only taking a few things, the rest I’ve already gotten rid of or packed up and sent to Mom and Dad’s. As for my parents, they’re sad I’m going but promise to visit.”
“And you think you’ll get on that plane on your own. With all the plane disappearances
of late?”
The nerves are etched all over her face. Shifting her focus to the ceiling, her eyes begin to fill with tears. I’m a jerk. I know how much flying terrifies her, yet I had to open my big, fat mouth and question her ability to conquer her fears.
“I have no choice, Drew. I need to do this. For me.”
“For you… right.”
“Will you be okay? Maybe you could visit? We could make a schedule of some sort. Look…” she fidgets nervously with her cell, then shows me some scheduling travel app, “… the traveler’s guide highly recommended it. It could be so much fun. You and me in a foreign city.”
I grab the remote from where it sits beside her and give her a small smile. “I’ll be fine. And I’m sure you don’t need me to cramp your style.”
“You wouldn’t be cramping my style…” she mentions softly. “In fact, I would—”
I interrupt her. “How about we enjoy the rest of the movie? You’re leaving tomorrow, right?”
“Yes.” Her voice croaks while staring back at me with wide eyes. She’s struggling not to blink or show any more emotions in front of me. I desperately want to reach out, hold her in my arms, and tell her everything will be okay. But my pride won’t allow it.
I don’t want to talk about it anymore and welcome the distraction of turning the movie back on. The scene restarts as Johnny and Baby dance to Hungry Eyes. The entire time I sit here, I’m becoming more miserable as each minute passes. There’s this tight feeling in my chest constricting my airways and interrupting my steady breathing. My palms are sweaty, and all of a sudden, I’m struck down with an awful headache.
I stretch my neck to the side, trying to release the tension. “I’m heading to bed. You have an early flight, right?”
“Crack-of-dawn early,” she says plainly.
“Goodnight, Zoey.”
I walk away until she stops me, wrapping her arms from behind and hugging me really tight. I don’t want to pull away, and any resistance I feel, I let go of if only for this moment.
We stand there quietly, without saying a word, until she finally pulls away and walks directly to her room, shutting the door behind her.
I lie awake, and with my hands resting behind my head, I think about her being in the next room. How for all these years she was just next door. Behind these thin walls. Never once did I think about us not being roomies. Even when she was with Jess, I always had this feeling she wasn’t ready to move out with him. I never worried about it and took for granted all the times we shared, the fun we had, and even the petty arguments that would arise every so often.
It’s too soon. This isn’t meant to happen yet.
The door to my bedroom opens slowly making a slight creak. The light from the hallway filters through the crack enough for me to see Zoey tiptoe into my room. The bed moves to one side, and her body, warm and delicate, lies beside mine.
“Drew,” she whispers, placing her hand on my chest.
Gently, I place my finger on her lips turning to the side to face her.
“Shh,” I hush.
The heat between our bodies lingers, my heart beating erratically as my finger traces the tips of her shoulders. Silence falls over the room, and if I listen carefully, I can hear her beats mirror mine—rapid, accelerated beats echoing like the sound of a drum.