I can’t breathe
seeing only stars and bright fucking lights. The weight of my body feels heavy, and careful not to crush her, my weak limbs move enough that I’m lying beside her.
Can I tell her now that I love her?
To not go and stay here with me?
I’m trying to find the courage, but this euphoric feeling has exhausted me, and for some reason, I’m enjoying the silence. Time to reflect on how perfect that moment was.
Moving my hand to hers, I pick it up and place it against my lips, kissing it gently. My eyelids become heavy, struggling to stay open until I lose the battle, drifting off.
In the morning I wake, a smile in tow until I turn over and see the bed empty. The heavy rain is tapping against the window. The weather bureau predicted correctly again. I jump out of bed in only my boxers, noticing the gold foil packet and used rubber sitting on top.
Thank God. It wasn’t a dream.
I rush straight for her room, expecting to find her lying in bed. It’s empty. The walls are bare and desk cleared. The bed has been stripped, and the only thing that remains is a box labeled ‘Zoey’s fragile items—Mom & Dad to collect.’
Agitated and alarmed, I run to the living room and see everything turned off. Swinging back around, I make my way to the kitchen. She’s nowhere to be found, and in the corner of my eye I see an envelope against the coffee machine. I move closer to it and my name is scribbled on the front.
I pick it up and stare while the envelope shakes in my hand. My temper is out of control, grabbing the mug beside me and throwing it against the wall it smashes into a dozen pieces, mimicking my fucking heart.
She chose to leave me.
And last night should have made her stay.
We are done.
Chapter Nineteen
Zoey
They say time flies when you’re having fun, or maybe time flies when you refuse to acknowledge you have a past, and part of you admits you ran away from it.
Denial—the easiest way to pass time and move on with your life.
After spending six months in London, the company I work for won a tender for a new project in Dubai. Considering I’m fairly new to the business and am yet to really learn the ropes, the invitation to move to Dubai and assist on this important project came as a surprise. Mr. Becker’s brother, Peter, is a great mentor and believed that I have the intelligence and capability to work with the business in a fast-paced environment.
I’m reluctant to move again, having just settled in London and adjusting to the awful cold weather. But I can’t and won’t allow an opportunity to pass by because I’m stuck in some comfort zone. Despite only being in London for such a short time, I’ve grown fond of the ‘Poms’ and their overuse of the word ‘bollocks.’
Dubai is known for its architecture from its ridiculously tall buildings to lavish hotels that accommodate the wealthiest people. It’s bustling with tourists and is the hip place to be right now.
Packing my bags and saying goodbye to the friends I’ve made over the past six months was difficult, but Dubai is so fast-paced that from the moment I landed, I hit the ground running. The company has put me up in a great apartment overlooking the city, and with long hours, I don’t have much time to socialize.
I wake up at the crack of dawn as I haven’t adjusted to the time difference, and before I know it, I stumble into my apartment, face-planting the bed in exhaustion. Long days on site, dining clients, and to launch party after launch party.
The heat. Well, that’s another thing.
Dressing up in designer work attire is a nice change, but the sweltering heat makes me sweat like crazy, and the weight has begun to fall off. I have the glow and physique of someone who works out at the gym without having to attend every day. Occasionally, when I have some time, I hit the communal gym in my building to build stamina. The only way to survive in Dubai is to be on top of your game, and endless amounts of coffee.
Dubai is the fashion capital of the world with countless shopping malls—extravagant and spacious—and people spending big everywhere you turn. It’s easy to fall into that trap, but I’ve tried my best to save some extra money so I can buy my own place real soon.
A home.
Wherever that is.
I’ve even met someone. His name’s Josh. He’s from Ireland on a work visa with a big firm who specialize in IT communications. We get along well and have a lot in common. It’s not a serious relationship. He’s simply a nice guy who I enjoy spending time with. Josh is far from being a complicated person. If anything, he’s the least complicated person I’ve ever met.
He has Mom’s approval because apparently I need it. Mom and Dad came out to visit, but lasted only four days. Dad complained about the heat the entire time, and Mom maxed out three credit cards much to Dad’s disapproval. As much as they love me, they couldn’t wait to go back home. Well, those were Dad’s words. Mom’s already arranged a trip back for just us girls.