Nothing.
“C’mon, Zo. I was lying about the carrot sticks. Wake up please,” I beg softly.
My heart is racing a million miles a minute. I’m thinking about how if anything happened to her, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. Get your shit together. Follow the CPR steps again.
I place my lips onto hers, blowing into her mouth, desperately trying to resuscitate her, all the while praying she can hear my thoughts. Fucking wake up, Zo. I wouldn’t know what to do without you. I need you.
Everything I’ve ever complained about, I want back—her annoying quirks like singing Madonna off-key in the shower, dropping crumbs on the sofa, her loud snoring, her hairpins scattered all over the apartment, and the way she lies in my bed talking to me for hours about her day or some random television show she landed on while channel surfing. Oh, and her obsession with fictional characters.
I want it all back, every bit of her back.
I can’t fucking lose her!
Pressing my lips against hers once again, I beg the Lord above to bring her back to me. They feel warm, full of blood. They’re soft, they have life. I pull away slowly and see the green orbs staring back at me. The second they do, my heart falls back into place.
“Drew,” she mouths, barely above a whisper.
“I’m here, Zo.”
I’m used to running on no sleep, and at just shy of two in the morning, Dr. Wheeler pops her head in to check on Zoey’s progress. Zoey begins to stir, her eyes barely opening.
“What time is it?”
“Just after two.”
She mumbles something about a dream she had involving a lion and monkey until Dr. Wheeler’s expression shifts, her brows drawing together, and her eyes fixated on the monitor. Using the Doppler transducer, she removes it quickly and calls Josiah back in.
“What’s wrong,” I ask, concerned.
Dr. Wheeler doesn’t respond straight away, jotting something down which only irritates me more. “One of the babies’ heart rate is dropping.”
Fuck. I know what that means. The babies need to come out now, and if Zoey hasn’t dilated enough, they will perform an emergency C-section. I stand up moving to the other side so I can see the monitor properly, grabbing the Doppler transducer and listening with my own ears. The normal range for a full-term baby’s heart rate during labor is between one hundred and ten to one hundred sixty beats per minute. One of the babies is decelerating which may be a sign that the baby is in distress and can relate to the baby’s supply of oxygen being compromised in some way.
“Dr. Baldwin, you understand we need to get these babies out now.”
The nurses scurry, and while they begin prepping a barely awake Zoey, I hold her hand and explain calmly what’s happening.
“I’m scared,” she cries, her eyes now wide-open with fear as her lips begin to tremble. “This isn’t supposed to happen. I’m supposed to give birth naturally, push these babies out. I’ve never had an operation…”
I wipe the tear that has run down her cheek struggling to compose my own emotions.
Be strong for her.
You must be strong for her.
“I promise you, it’ll be all right. Soon those babies will be in our arms.”
Fighting my own tears back, I suck in a big breath and focus. I know what my role is in our relationship, and as if something clicks I straighten my shoulders, hold onto my wife’s hand tight as they wheel her into the operating room, and silently pray for the Lord to watch over the three most important people in my life.
In just a few short minutes I will become a father.
And my life as I know it will forever be changed.
Chapter Nine
Zoey
This isn’t at all how I planned it.