Kicking Reality

“I’m sorry Dad,” I whisper, staring out the window, restraining my tears from falling.

There’s only music between us. The sounds of U2. It’s so depressing yet the perfect song to capture my mood.

“I’m disappointed in you Emerson. I didn’t raise a daughter to behave like this. What were you thinking?” He keeps his eyes steady on the road.

“I wasn’t . . . I can’t explain it.”

He lets out a sigh, shoulders slumping. “When Ash came home and told us he got married, I was furious. He had his whole life ahead of him. He worked himself to the bone to achieve his dreams. I didn’t want some woman taking that away from him. Someone he had known

for five minutes. Marriage is a great thing when it’s done at the right time. It wasn’t the right time for your brother and it isn’t the right time for you.”

“Why didn’t you say something? Convince us not to get married if you saw the signs?” I wondered out loud.

It’s funny how when you break up with someone, everyone voices their opinion on how wrong you were for each other yet prior to that, no one breathed a single word.

“I did,” he tells me. “I wasn’t going to let either of you ruin your lives. But neither of you listened. What would I know? Just an old man out to ruin your life.”

“Dad,” I say softly. “You’re not an old man. You’re just my daddy.”

The sentiment makes him smile, placing his hand on top of mine.

“Despite our earlier arguments, I’m proud of you Emmy. You took the best of the situation and built it to bigger things. You’re an extremely smart businesswoman and if Forbes magazine named you the next best thing, you know you’re going places.”

“I was going places. This separating our assets is trickier than I thought.”

“So you’ll get a good lawyer, pay your dues then build yourself back up.”

Wesley and I had been tied financially in every way. The lawyers recommended we split everything fifty/fifty from our cash, investments, properties, and businesses. I had hired a woman recommended to me—a shark in Hollywood who would fight to make sure everything is divided equally.

“Thanks Dad, for the confidence. I just need to take it one day at a time.”

“You’re a smart woman. You never needed to be on that show to prove that to me. Sometimes I wish your brother would have fed off your brain cells.”

I laugh. Dad often put Ash down but deep inside—he was so proud of him.

“Ash has his own way of thinking.”

“Yeah.” Dad grunts. “Know a good divorce lawyer?”

“Excuse me?” I stumble out my words. “Him and Alessandra?”

Dad nods, clearly not pleased with the outcome.

“When you commit, Emmy, you commit for life. Remember that.”

I’m shocked but also not surprised. Alessandra and I had rarely spoken since my stay in London. She was often busy with work and to be honest, Ash didn’t seem invested in their relationship. I loved my brother but he had no idea how relationships worked let alone marriage. Not that I was one to talk, obviously—I had no idea either.

“So, um, how is Logan?”

“Busy. Training. You know they won their semi-finals? Tough game but they did it. A lot of mistakes so they need to work their asses off to win premiership this year.”

I knew they won. I had been following the game and watched it live. It was my only way of seeing Logan, and every time the camera zoomed in on him, my heart would retreat into hiding with a box of tissues and tub of ice cream playing Endless Love on repeat.

A masochistic cycle that I couldn’t break.

I stare out the window, quiet and ignoring the pang that constantly reminded me how much I missed him. There was such a negative reaction to us being together. Wesley’s followers did not hold back their opinions. Slut, whore, you name it—I was called it. Logan’s hoard of passionate women did the same. I stepped away from all my social media accounts because despite my tough exterior at times, I was a crumbling mess inside.

We drive into the driveway while I hold back my tears when the house is in full view.