Into the Light

“What’s a Daisy Chain?” Kate asked.

“The drink, I don’t know. The act, don’t ask.”

The drink turned out to be Sambuca shots. The smell of the anise was strong and I winced as I swallowed it. Holy fuck, that was surely gonna kill me! Urgh the aftertaste was rancid. Next drink was called a Candy Maker. It was actually tequila. The night carried on with lewd, homosexually named drinks being served to us. We loosened up and started dancing. It didn’t bother me that I was surrounded by sweaty males with bodies to die for, or the fact that they all had their tongues down each other’s throats. We just got lost in the trance, enjoying the carefree buzz. Kate was beyond smashed. I was not far behind her. As I danced, I felt my tiny purse vibrate. I pulled out my phone, squinting to read it.

Charlotte please, I am so lost without you

1 Voicemail message

It was Lex. My heart skipped a beat reading the message. Maybe it was the Daisy Chains and Candy Makers that loosened me up but suddenly I felt the urge to listen to the voicemail and not delete it like the other dozen I had this week. I motioned to Kate I was going to check my cell but she was too preoccupied being sandwiched in between two guys that loved dancing with a straight girl.

I made my way over to the corner and pressed into my voicemail, covering my other ear to drown out the music.

Please talk to me. I can’t go on like this. We said we would start over but you’re not here with me, you’re not even talking to me. Charlotte, listen to me when I say you can trust me. This is not what it seems. I need you... I need us to be okay. Please talk to me.

The line went silent and the pang in my heart deepened, this man was my husband so what the hell was I doing? But it wasn’t like it was a real wedding…

Walking back to the bar. I pushed my way through the crowd unaware of my trance-like state. Was I wrong in all this? But how could that possibly be? The photos looked real and someone out there wanted me to see them. Who sent me this link? Someone in love with Lex, I thought.

As I went to put my cell away, the date on the top of the screen caught my attention.

October 12th

It was her anniversary and I forgot because I was too busy worrying about my own problems. Maybe it was a blessing that I wasn’t forced to relive the horrible pain that tore me into shreds that day. That my ridiculous man problems made me forget about the woman that meant so much to me. I didn’t want to cry, not here in the middle of this club where people looked like they were having the time of their lives.

“You okay, Charlie?” Eric asked.

“Yeah. I think I need another Daisy Chain.”

He laughed, pulling me over to the bar. “Was that Lex you were texting?”

“No, I wasn’t texting. I read the text he sent me and listened to his voicemail. The first time I’ve had the courage to all week.”

“C’mon Charlie, even I was wrong for judging. Hear him out at least. You know you wanna get back to tapping his hot ass again.”

“If only it were that easy.”

“What’s going on, ladies...?” Kate rested her head on Eric’s shoulder, slurring her words.

“Charlie just got a text and message from Le—” The whistle blew loudly in our ears. We all cringed. Apparently it was conga time, but the gay version. It was our cue to leave. Eric joined the gay train and waved goodbye. Kate and I stumbled our way home to pass out as soon as we walked through the door of the hotel suite.

…

I moved my tongue around my mouth, it tasted bitter and cotton-like. As I swallowed, I felt the nausea wash over me. Running for the bathroom, tripping over Kate lying on the floor, I barely made it to the toilet before the ramifications of last night’s shots took place. I sat there minutes on end unable to peel myself off the cold tiles. I was dying, there was no other explanation.

“Charlie, are you oka…” Kate pushed me aside taking my spot. Oh fuck no, I couldn’t watch her puke as well. I ran out of the bathroom pacing up and down the living area thankful that the trashcan stood by the small kitchenette and sink. That will be the last time I ever set foot into a gay club...EVER.

Hours later we managed to shower and get dressed. I said goodbye to Kate, thanking her for making me forget and also letting me stay with her. We agreed to meet up for coffee tomorrow before she was due to fly back home.

As I walked back into my apartment, the familiarity of it all overwhelmed me. I was exhausted, no doubt from the lack of sleep this week, the clubbing and extra work I took on to distract myself. I dozed off to be awoken at twilight by the sound of my cell ringing. It was Julian.

“Hey you,” I answered, my voice hoarse.

“Hey, you okay? You don’t sound well.”

“Just coming down with something, I think.” My body ached all over as I straightened myself up.

“I was going to ask you if you were free for dinner but never mind, rest up.”