Into the Light

Why can't you see how much I love you? That every moment you aren't with me, I am dying a little every day. This mistake was not mine, you wanted my trust? Well how about you earn mine as well. Not everything is my fault, Charlotte. You want to hurt me for what I did to you? Well you've succeeded. To quote you, I'm done.

I stood there shocked to the soles of my feet by his words.

It was over.

I followed Julian’s lead like a lost little girl but there was one thing I still wanted to say: if only he didn’t react the way he did, if only he didn’t beat Julian to a pulp. Julian well ahead of me, I turned around to be met by Lex’s emerald eyes, now dark and full of pain. “I was here to tell him it was over.”

“Charlie, wait!” Kate called for me. “I’m sorry, I had no idea it was Mr. Edwards. Please, you have to know it was all fake. I was there, Charlie. I was there when Victoria threatened him and he told her to fuck off. You need to trust me.”

“Kate, I’m sorry. I just need to let him go.” I walked out of the restaurant to where Julian was standing.

There in the middle of the sidewalk we both stood, the cold night upon us, yet I was numb, unable to feel anything but guilt. Julian stood before me, eyes blazing, ready to air everything out in the open. No more lies, Charlie… This was my chance to do the right thing.

“Is it true what he said?”

“Let’s go back to my place and clean you up first.”

“Charlie, I asked you a fucking question!”

“Yes, Julian. What he said was true. The truth is, I love him. Despite all his flaws. Greater than you could ever imagine.”

“I’m not going to stand here and beg you to choose me.”

The pain was much more than I imagined. I loved Julian, just not in the same way I loved Lex. They may have been different types of love, but it still hurt like fucking hell. There was only one thing I needed to do, this was it, no turning back… Let go of him, Charlie…you don’t need him as a safety net. Set him free.

That’s what he was, a safety net. My heart only belonged to one man, always did and always would. That man may have told me we were done, but I couldn’t give my whole heart to Julian and that’s what he deserved: a woman who would make him her world.

I slid the ring off my finger and held it before him.

“Charlie…” he barely whispered, his voice hoarse, almost cracking.

“I’m sorry, Julian. You don’t know how much. I wish this turned out differently, I really do, but I can’t live this lie. I can’t help how I feel.”

I held my hand out further, this beautiful ring in all its glory that represented so much that had stood between us. Reluctantly he took it, clutching it in his hands. With a look of sorrow, he leaned in, placing a final kiss on my lips.

He walked away and I called his name. He never turned back.

Chapter 6

Lex

I coughed involuntarily; it was rough, like I'd swallowed a bunch of razor blades. My eyes were shut tight but I couldn't ignore the fire clawing up my throat. Water, I needed water. I struggled to open my eyes. It stung. What the fuck was wrong with me? I gave up trying and fell back to sleep.

Attempt number two: this time I took it slow. As my eyes opened, the bright light stung. It was the fucking sun. I pulled the sheet above my head to block out the light. Something felt off...against my skin. I pulled the sheet tighter against me. What the hell was it? It was wet and sticky. My eyes were still closed but I could feel it against my torso. I placed my hand down searching for this odd thing annoying me, scraping my palm against my body I found it towards my ribcage. I grabbed it and brought it to my eyes.

It was a condom.

FUCK ME DEAD!

Startled by the discovery I sat up unwillingly staring at this piece of rubber that would be the result of my pain. I fucked up big time, what the fuck have I done!

“Nice of you to wake up.” The sound of a voice made me jump. I wasn’t alone.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m guessing you don’t remember any of last night?”

I strained my brain trying to remember what happened. I drank so much...I mean a lot. Like two bottles of bourbon. I ran into Victoria in the lobby, I dragged her to my suite. I remember the shrill in her voice as she unbuttoned my shirt and ran her hands along my chest. She mumbled words like ‘finally I get a piece of you’ and other dirty shit but then it became a blur and I think…well, hoped…I’d blacked out.