Into the Light

“Charlie, you’ll always have us. Rocky, myself and Will. We are your family. Even when you have lost hope and think you are walking through this pain alone, remember that we are here for you no matter what you decide.”

I smiled the tiniest of smiles that I could muster up. As she closed the door I sunk back onto the floor, my tears falling without my permission. The walls felt like they were closing in, the roof caving. I had to do everything I could to find the strength to just get through this one day, and maybe tomorrow I could start answering the questions that plagued me.

…

As I stepped into the office later that day, I felt different. The confidence that I usually carried with me was shattered. Instead I carried this burden, this thing, this… I couldn’t even bring myself to say the word. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I could this… Do what? Carry on with work or raise this…again that word. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me, like they all knew. In a self-conscious move I scanned my stomach; impossible, I was only, what, a few weeks along? Fuck, I didn’t even know. I would have to get scans, hear the heartbeat. No…

not now…not here at work.

“Charlie, you’re back! Do I have stuff to tell you!” Eric glanced around the room and grabbed onto my arm, ushering me into my office. I placed my purse down and sat in my chair. This chair felt like home, the comfy plush leather gave me a sense of power and I loved it. Well, I used to love it. Now flashes of Lex sitting on this chair plagued me. The way he took over, the way he demanded me. I closed my eyes for a brief moment. Memories tortured me every second I continued to breathe.

“Charlie, hey girlfriend,” he called, snapping his fingers in front of me.

“Sorry E… Okay, so what have you got for me?" I focused on Eric because if anyone could make me feel normal for a split second, it would be him.

“Are you okay? I mean despite, you know…and having this bug which, by the way, don’t pass it onto me. I have a hot date with that Latino guy who works out at my gym and shitting through the eye of a needle is not on my agenda.”

“Wait. What happened to that other guy?”

“Long story but the short version is I caught him getting blown by the busboy at La Rouges last week.”

“I'm so sorry! Why didn't you tell me?"

“Girl, you got your own worries.”

“Sorry, I’ve been a really shitty friend.”

“Yes but it’s justifiable, sweetcheeks. Anyway, so guess what?” He clapped excitedly.

“What?”

“Emma fucked Michael last night in the car park downstairs.”

“NOOOO SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!” The pitch of my voice was so high. That was the last thing I expected to come out of his mouth. Michael was one of our associates. I knew he slept around; he tried to hit on me late last year at a benefit but I shut him down faster than you could say hell no. Ever since then it was been nothing but business. Still, this was news. Wow, Emma and Michael?

“Yep, I swear. She didn’t tell me but you know how I get my brows waxed with Lyle down on six? Well, he saw them and texted me last night.”

“Let’s call her in.” I smiled dialing her number. She picked up immediately and I asked her to join us in my office to discuss a brief. She walked in moments later, and I was not surprised when I saw she was dressed differently from her usual attire. A total ‘I got office fucked’ giveaway if I saw one! She wore this thin black pencil skirt that hugged her body in all the right places, her blouse was a chiffon cream color which was slightly unbuttoned and her pumps were new, in fact slightly higher than she normally wore. Oh, she was so trying to impress. This would be fun, interrogation was my specialty. I was a lawyer, after all.

“Morning, Emma. You look awfully nice today. Special occasion?”

“I uh...um thanks, Charlie. How are you feeling?”

“Better. Thank you for asking. So, the Jensen case. I heard you and Michael have been making quite good progress. Ahead of schedule I see?”

“Yeah, we’ve put in a lot of hours as we’re close to closing this one.”

“So I see. And Michael hasn’t been working you too hard? You know, pushing you beyond your means?”

She coughed as I said it; her face had turned bright red as she stared down at the ground shuffling her feet awkwardly. “No, um, not at all. He’s been quite attentive to my, um, needs.”

The silence fell across the room as we waited for which one of us would cave. I knew Eric couldn’t last long and that’s why I loved him. He had no filter and during times like this, his normally annoying trait was a godsend.

“So when you say attentive to your needs do you mean the way he shot his cannonball into your love purse on that red Mercedes downstairs in the parking lot?” Eric asked in a serious tone. How the hell he kept a straight face was beyond me.

“E! Love purse!” I laughed uncontrollably. It was exactly what I needed to hear at this moment.

“OMG Eric, how did you know that?” she asked, panicking.