Into the Light

Some things are worth fighting for. When your heart won’t stop loving then it’s not ready to give up. He didn’t judge me, he didn’t pity me, instead he chose to understand me and once again guide me along the right path. We said our goodbyes but I turned back one last time, because I needed to say it again.

“Andrew?”

He turned around to face me, his strikingly handsome looks on par with his son.

“Thank you…again,” I mouthed before he walked out of the coffee shop with a smile on his face.

…

I took in a deep breath as I gazed at my reflection in the mirror. The dress was absolutely stunning, the color matching my skin tone perfectly. It’s amazing what a spray tan can do, I thought to myself. My hair had been styled in soft curls parted to the side and the only piece of jewelry I wore was the phoenix pendant. Reaching for the necklace, I ran my fingers over it, closing my eyes as I took in another deep breath. Of course I knew why I was nervous: it would be the first time I’d see him since that night in the hospital.

Sometimes in life you wonder how you ever got through something, a moment as such when life meant nothing. The past month had been nothing short of hell. Time was moving slowly but I was stuck in my own personal hell, waving my wand of pain over those I loved...over the only man I had ever loved. I had no one to blame but myself. That’s what made this harder.

My talk with Andrew made me realize I couldn’t give up, but I couldn’t push him either. There were several times when I nearly caved, dialing his number, sending him a text and even as far as speaking to Air France on the phone ready to divulge my credit card details, but I chickened out at the last minute. Of course I wanted to see him, but there was the uncertainty of his reaction and I needed to be in the right frame of mind to handle any hurt or rejection he would inflict upon me. He was a guy after all… His natural reaction would be to fuck everything in sight and forget about me, the super bitch who was knocked up with another man’s baby. How I would do anything to take back what I said, to take back the hurt I caused him. But what’s done is done. I was officially all cried out and finally I was here, on Adriana’s wedding day where I would finally meet my destiny, the one I chose to follow.

“Charlie, I know you’re scared,” Eric said while fixing the back of my dress.

“Scared would be an understatement. E, what if I damaged him so bad that he can’t even look me in the eye?”

He placed the bottom of my dress down, standing behind me as he looked at my reflection in the mirror. “My mom always said that you could tell how much someone loves you by looking them in the eye. Look him straight in the eyes, Charlie. The answer will be there.”

I nodded, although the thought of not seeing any love for me was weighing heavily on my mind. Could I look into his eyes? What If I fall harder…and he isn’t there to catch me?

“And if all else fails, just look at his crotch and hope for a wave hello or the one-eyed salute.”

“You’re terrible.” I laughed.

“Weddings bring it out of me.”

There was a soft knock on the door followed by Kate poking her head in. Eric motioned for her to come in. He knew we needed to talk so he left us alone to go check on Adriana. I had only managed to communicate with Kate by text; this was the first time I had seen her since the restaurant episode.

“Charlie, you look gorgeous. That color is amazing on you,” she said nervously.

“Thanks, Kate. Listen, I’m so sorry for allowing this to come between us.”

“Charlie, seriously, we are both at fault. How did we not figure out we were talking about the same guy? I’m sorry for being distant the past month. It’s been difficult handling everything on my own.”

“I can imagine.” I paused, unsure if I should delve even further into this topic. “Kate...I love him. So much it hurts to breathe without him. But you know it was me who pushed him away. I’m hoping he’ll give me another chance.”

“Charlie, he loves you. Mr. Edwa…I mean, Lex…has never looked at anyone the way he looks at you. Trust me, I’ve been around… Bollocks, I didn’t mean for it to come out that way.”

I laughed, placing my hand on her arm, reassuring her. “It’s okay, I get it, he has

a past. One day on a drunken rant you can spill all his dirty little secrets to me.”

“Oh God, he’d fire me if he ever found out I spilled the beans.” She laughed in return.

“You really love your job, don’t you?” Curiosity got the better of me. She had voiced on several occasions that her boss was a pain in her ass. I wondered what it was about Lex that made her enjoy her job.

She hesitated before answering. “You know I do. I actually look forward to waking up every day and going to work. It’s such a challenge and I love the interaction with some of the most intelligent and powerful people in the business world. Mr. Edwards... Lex... is such a great mentor. If you ignore the fact that he has mood swings like a lady waiting for her rags.”

I laughed out loud, it was so him. I pulled her into an embrace, squeezing her tight. “Thank you, Kate, for being a great friend.”

“Charlie. You deserve to be happy. You both do. You know he is here already?”

“He is?”

“Yes, he arrived not long ago.”