I want to say that Amelia was the most well behaved baby in the world and I was blessed. Wrong.
She wouldn’t latch on. The nurses gave me tutorials on breast feeding and, frustrated, I wound up crying every time. She screamed through the night when other babies slept. I was exhausted and both me and my boobs would cry every time she did. When Lex arrived in the morning with fresh bagels I would cry again. He was quick to take Amelia, and of course, in his arms she remained silent for hours on end. In fact, she remained silent for Emily, as well, and everyone else who visited. It was in those moments alone with me that she would turn into a monster baby and find her voice. I found solace in one of the nurses; she sat down with me and explained the changes in my body and why I was a blubbering mess every two seconds. It was getting beyond ridiculous. Amelia cried, I cried. My orange juice spilled over my blanket, I cried. The button failed to work on my bed, I cried. I was tired of crying.
“Charlie, you are normal. I was like this, too. You wouldn’t be normal if you weren’t like this” Bulls said as she rocked Amelia back and forth.
“I don’t remember you being like this...”
“That’s because I held it in, which made it worse because I suffered post-partum depression.”
The memory triggered. “I remember now. Bulls, this feels so hard. Physically, I can barely walk. My boobs have turned into watermelons on steroids and Amelia won’t stop crying.” And there go the tears again.
“Charlie, you need to rest, relax and let Lex help you as much as possible. And of course, me, Aunt Bullsie.”
I let out a chuckle. “That could be misconstrued as Aunt Bullshit.”
“Hey, I resent that!” Bulls laughed.
“Okay, I hear you, this is all normal, what I’m feeling. I’m just saying it’s no walk in the park and those stupid Lamaze classes and books did not prepare me for this.”
“They focus on the before, not the after. Give it a week and things will get better. Plus, you’ll get your mojo back.” She winked.
“The last thing I can think about right now is sex. Besides, don’t you have to wait six weeks anyway?”
“Yes, you do. I’m not saying you should have sex, what I’m saying is don’t be surprised when you’re at home and your hormones do a number on you and all you can think about is hopping on Lex’s dick.”
“Don’t be silly; don’t judge me by your own slutty standards.”
“Aunt Bullsie doesn’t bullshit. Bets are on, Charlie. I give you three days tops before you’re blowing him like a trumpet in an orchestra.”
“Honestly, Bulls… ridiculous thought.”
…
“Where’s my niece?!”
Adriana decided to make an impromptu visit. It couldn’t have been worse timing because we had been home less than twenty four hours and Bulls had won her bet. I was as horny as a drunken teenager. It was so left field, totally caught me by surprise when I saw Lex in his wife beater and basketball shorts, standing in the kitchen, making dinner. I was ready to blow his brains out when we heard a knock on the door.
FUCK OFF!
Adriana immediately pulled Amelia out of her bassinet and sat on the couch, cooing and singing lullabies.
“I’m pregnant,” she says quietly.
Shocked, I look over. “You’re pregnant? The IVF worked?”
She nodded with this enormous smile on her face. “Yes, but I haven’t told Elijah yet.”
I leaned over and hugged her, this was crazy awesome! Cousins so close in age; it couldn’t be more perfect!. Lex walked into the room carrying dinner. Adriana broke the news to him but warned him first that Elijah didn’t know. His face paled, putting shame to ghosts. It was impossible not to notice how he almost dropped the plates.
“Lex, why aren’t you happy?” Adriana asked, looking annoyed.
He stumbled on his words. “I just think you should have told your husband first.”
“Lex, he is in Australia for that art promo convention. I want to tell him in person.”
Lex remained quiet. I didn’t want to pry right now but something was definitely wrong. He must have realized how transparent he was and quickly hugged his sister, offering his congratulations. The moment she closed the door behind her, the words practically fell off my tongue.
“Why are you upset that she’s pregnant?”